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Hello guys just want your views
My son is 3 and my contact has always been every Friday 5pm till Saturday 5pm drop off.
My ex has now taken on a job working every other weekend so we have agreed I will do every other weekend from 5pm Friday till 5pm Sunday,in your opinion wich arrangement would you prefer in my shoes.
Both have arrangements have pros and cons every other weekend you have to wait longer however you can do alot more with your kids for a whole weekend esp summertime and the next whole weekend to sunbath and go out at night if that's your thing.
Every week is also good but a shorter amount of time with your kids it feels,by time we wake up in the morning the clock is ticking quickly to 5pm and if I drive far I have to leave really early to get back in time!
I have my daughter every weekend, one night and day, alternating between Friday night Saturday day and Sat night/Sunday. I agree that it means we are counting down the time as soon as we start and it makes it less easy to plan things to do, often the things we could do are on the wrong day.
I have long asked my ex to move to every other complete weekend with an extra school night mid week in between, but she will not consider it, or respond (as usual).
I think a complete weekend means better quality time, no rush and easier to plan things. It also means less of me having to cancel social events I could do, because I never get a free weekend. That is secondary, but a by product of whole weekend, every other. I would choose the latter.
Yes I see what you mean surley your ex would prefer every other weekend you would of thought then both of you get full weekends with the kid and full weekends to do your own thing.
Another thing is dating it's so hard to date and go out with somebody if you have your kids every week(secondary i know)but say you want to go for a bank holiday weekend in a caravan you can't because of your kids,drop of times,and no complete relaxation.
And on the flipside when you doing every other for a whole weekend and you have yours kids you could drive to Butlins Fri night have a really good time with them,enjoy a full day Saturday and sat evening,wake up on a Sunday start driving aback around 3ish in time for drop off
The fall back position for family court when considering a schedule of contact, is generally a full weekend fortnightly with a weekly mid week contact, which could be an overnight, depending on circumstances. The reasoning behind this is to give each parent quality time at weekends.
This schedule is by no means set in stone, there can be many variables, it’s what works best. Perhaps you could negotiate some kind of weekly mid week contact, so that the length of time between visits isn’t so long.
Best of luck
When I first divorced and my ex had custody, I used to see them alternate Sundays (full weekends and midweeks weren't practical as they were 200 miles away) and once I got used to seeing them only every 2 weeks, it actually turned out to be pretty good as I could spend quality time with them, but then could also plan weekends for my own personal life, so I would say that alternate full weekends is the better solution as it allows you (and you ex) to plan for better time with the kids, but also allows you to plan for weekends when you don't see them.
Thank you for your response the more I think about it the more I'm leaning towards every other weekend(Full)
Every week is Good but I'm constantly thinking about drop of times I can never drive too far before I have them or even during,the new arrangement will also help plan my personal life when I don't have them e.g home decor,the garden,Dating or simply recharge my batteries/have friends stay over etc
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