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I have to go to a hearing for an enforcement order this Thursday which was brought forward by my ex wife. She has now messaged saying she wants to withdraw the application ( I have no reason why) and has stated she has applied to the courts. In doing so she wants me to write to the courts confirming that I am in agreement on such short notice. Is this a simple thing to do as cafcass are involved and I think the matter is more serious.?
I don't know what has come over her. On one hand it would be good but on the other hand she has created problems and I don't want the proceeding to stop. Mainly because
1/ she never hands over the passport when I intend to go on holiday. Despite me providing her 6 weeks notice of holiday in the summer, she deliberately gave it to me a week before out holiday knowing full well it had expired and didn't inform me. I had to in emergency have a passport made. she always controls the passport. She always creates a problem and has been served previously but doesn't deter her.
2/ she always dictates the half term holidays. I am finding this challenging as it doesn't work always as I have to work. I have moved on with my wife who is a teacher, so my ex is now letting me have my son more during the half term and Christmas periods. It does mean that I have to plan my holidays in advance so I have time with both my son and wife. This Christmas she let me have him for a full week, when its always been 3days. I have no problem with having my son extra I welcome it, but I do find it a problem that she is dictating and I would like this defined. Are there any other plans that currently work? my order states that handover collection is to be on Tuesdays or Thursdays.
3/I need to have a 3rd party guardian to do collection & handover as she always creates trouble, with the recent a non mol inciting I have been threatening and violent and the enforcement because I am apparently breaching my order constantly which is not the case.
In hope I need my existing order amended to have the above points resolved. But I would like some suggestions with regards to how holidays work for people particularly half term and how they work it around there work schedule as I would like to define mine clearly as opposed so I have control over my life as opposed to ex wife having control??
many thanks
hi,
i would say do not withdraw application. could be a trick and she may mess about more in future.
i am having similar issues. i applied to court again, to vary order. controlling ex. 2 weeks after i applied, she blocked me from picking up kids at 16:10 on a friday. my order is open ended and just says mother to make kids available after school. so like you, i want court to define it properly with fixed times.
issue of passports. you should be very organised. the other day a reminder popped up on my phone: daughter passport expires in 2022. haha :p might seem silly. but its better to be super organised. i have no plans to take kids on holiday abroad this year, but i know my oldest daughters passport expired april 2019. in my order it says both of us have to give each other 8 weeks notice about holidays and and her to hand over passports. I am self-employed and not able to commit to half of school holidays. happy for 2 weeks in summer. i don't do anything in winter.
i agreed to pick up kids from school on friday (15:30) , so ex forced me to be at her door at 15:30 during school holidays lol. so its become a mess. back in court end of this month to sort things out. will ask court for a fixed time e.g. 5pm on friday.
I agree wholeheartedly - hope for the best, but prepare for the worst, and plan well ahead.
Your order needs to be varied if your ex is messing you about. I learned that mother making child available after school or pick up from school at stated times leaves it open to be abused by ex.. order needs to say drop off at school and pick up from school with no times meaning you can turn up at school whenever you like within reason and not have an ex partner turn up 15 mins before you are meant to have child preventing access or ex partner making child available hour after school as she can claim well I done what court order says.
Sid4u you definitely need to go to court and sort this out. its very easy for an ex to appear to be nice all of a sudden and offer bit extra contact. when you withdraw your application suddenly worse than ever and you have to follow the daunting process again applying to family courts.
What I would do is whilst you are there is try and get holidays defined and its about your availability not hers. you could look at your work schedule and see when you can have children and come up with a schedule that works for both parents. I wouldn't recommend lots of handovers as cafcass and courts may not favour that.i would bear that in mind to keep handovers down to as little as possible. You want something put in place about ex partner handing passports over month before a booked holiday . family courts expect you to be able to do handovers when possible yourself rather than third party, school is the best place or a place local with cctv so it makes it hard for her to make accusations. and at all costs avoid any arguments infront of children as it will be used against you even though she is starting the arguments to get a reaction
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