[Solved] Enforcement order & Half term Holidays

hi,

i would say do not withdraw application. could be a trick and she may mess about more in future.

i am having similar issues. i applied to court again, to vary order. controlling ex. 2 weeks after i applied, she blocked me from picking up kids at 16:10 on a friday. my order is open ended and just says mother to make kids available after school. so like you, i want court to define it properly with fixed times.

issue of passports. you should be very organised. the other day a reminder popped up on my phone: daughter passport expires in 2022. haha :p might seem silly. but its better to be super organised. i have no plans to take kids on holiday abroad this year, but i know my oldest daughters passport expired april 2019. in my order it says both of us have to give each other 8 weeks notice about holidays and and her to hand over passports. I am self-employed and not able to commit to half of school holidays. happy for 2 weeks in summer. i don't do anything in winter.

i agreed to pick up kids from school on friday (15:30) , so ex forced me to be at her door at 15:30 during school holidays lol. so its become a mess. back in court end of this month to sort things out. will ask court for a fixed time e.g. 5pm on friday.

I agree wholeheartedly - hope for the best, but prepare for the worst, and plan well ahead.

Your order needs to be varied if your ex is messing you about. I learned that mother making child available after school or pick up from school at stated times leaves it open to be abused by ex.. order needs to say drop off at school and pick up from school with no times meaning you can turn up at school whenever you like within reason and not have an ex partner turn up 15 mins before you are meant to have child preventing access or ex partner making child available hour after school as she can claim well I done what court order says.

Sid4u you definitely need to go to court and sort this out. its very easy for an ex to appear to be nice all of a sudden and offer bit extra contact. when you withdraw your application suddenly worse than ever and you have to follow the daunting process again applying to family courts.

What I would do is whilst you are there is try and get holidays defined and its about your availability not hers. you could look at your work schedule and see when you can have children and come up with a schedule that works for both parents. I wouldn't recommend lots of handovers as cafcass and courts may not favour that.i would bear that in mind to keep handovers down to as little as possible. You want something put in place about ex partner handing passports over month before a booked holiday . family courts expect you to be able to do handovers when possible yourself rather than third party, school is the best place or a place local with cctv so it makes it hard for her to make accusations. and at all costs avoid any arguments infront of children as it will be used against you even though she is starting the arguments to get a reaction

Your order needs to be varied if your ex is messing you about. I learned that mother making child available after school or pick up from school at stated times leaves it open to be abused by ex.. order needs to say drop off at school and pick up from school with no times meaning you can turn up at school whenever you like within reason and not have an ex partner turn up 15 mins before you are meant to have child preventing access or ex partner making child available hour after school as she can claim well I done what court order says.

thanks thats very helpful. in my position statement i put father to collect kids from school, return to school in morning, or else drop kids to mothers address 08:30.

is there anything bad about this wording? i know my ex. if the 08:30 time is not mentioned, she will say drop at 09:00 to annoy me and make me late for work lol.

I would write instead of drop at mums 830 , or at any other time agreed between both parties if school is closed. then she cant make you drop them off at 830 or use it against you if something goes amiss.

I would write instead of drop at mums 830 , or at any other time agreed between both parties if school is closed. then she cant make you drop them off at 830 or use it against you if something goes amiss.

hi. problem with: "or at any other time agreed between both parties if school is closed."

she will most certainly dictate the time, and it will be to inconvenience me, like drop at 09:00, because thats official school open time or whatever. during mid week visits, if i arrive back with kids 10-15 mins early, she refuses to let them into the flat and we stand outside freezing. i could mention this in court, but would probably fall on deaf ears.

When school is closed best to return them at around 5pm. If your 10 -15 mins late and she refuses entry to flat log it with police by ringing them and say you are going home with children and returning them early evening as she refused to answer door

Hello all, thank you for your words and comments they are really helpful.

I did go yesterday morning before a judge, and yes both the non mol and enforcement order were in fact dropped by the mother and the judge was all too happy to do so.

The reasons mother gave was that our son had spoke to her about he felt with all this and that deeply saddened her and she did not want to embroil in any further conflict which could have an adverse effect on him. I agree, however this is all because I believe she was afraid more than anything as she had opened a can of worms and could potentially have worked against her. I was relieved but more annoyed and I made it very clear to the judge who could see I was riled up but in a polite way. The judge explained to her that for her to be applying for an enforcement isn't for her to do and is for me if she was to ever stop making our son available to me. I said why would I breach an order that I sought to have put in place.

Unfortunately my concerns put forward to the judge were not taken into consideration and I was told that I should be able to try and communicate with mother and if I would like the order amended I should make another application but it would mean that our son would require a guardian in court. Therefore Judge advised to avoid this also and to come to sort of agreement. I cannot communicate with this woman, it does not work and its what she wants so she can play her games of cat and mouse and usually dictate.

I have realised that I have to take more responsibility in issuing my availability for contact particularly during the holiday periods, so I have to issue the contact dates way in advance before she does. I presume as with all fathers its a challenge particularly balancing work with half terms, easter and summer holidays. I made it clear to her and in front of judge that I will no longer be dictated to now, and that 2-3 day handovers are not going to work that we have shared holidays so we will split down the middle.

I am scratching my head at the minute to how that will work for the longer holidays such as Easter and Summer!

How do you guys currently balance these times what plans have you tried and work for you?

Thanks again all. Appreciated.

You need to look at your work schedule 1st and come up with 2 or 3 plans you can approach ex with regarding summer hoidays and easter.

Generally dads take a week 1 block or do contact as normal at easter. summer holidays some dads have 2 one week blocks and split the rest, follow order as normal or come to some other arrangement you both agree with but definitely advise to do it well in advance and send it to her so she don't forget is she agrees. it is about your availability during holidays and not your exs

Schools now give you nearly a years worth of notice of the next school year dates. So we agree a schedule for that school year by end of April. Other people I asked did it by end of June/July regardless of whether they had an Order or not. Due to my ex's behaviour with changing her mind at the last minute - which she stupidly showed during the proceedings which covered a summer holiday and half term - I left enough time to take her to Court if needed.