Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi All,
You may rember the stressed out version of me around two years ago when everything was going on. This site and everyone helped me get thru every hearing from the word go, I self represented and got awarded fortnightly overnight stays, holidays from reception to be divided up equally and 3 Skype calls a week. Fair to say I went in expecting I'd get nothing due to all the allegations on my ex's witness statement, cafcass report (which the district judge threw out lol) etc.
My daughter is turning five in October, we are so close it is unbelievable - she looks forward to coming to stay over fortnightly and has lots of fun everytime.
I am unsure if I should have posted this in the Education section or safety. I am an atheist, and my ex is a Muslim (she has now remarried into a Muslim family). I will try being very politically correct and not be offensive at all.
I really, really don't want my daughter learning anything about the Islamic faith. There is just too much backwards mentality in the faith e.g. a woman is worth half that of a man, or a woman needs to cover herself so she isn't an attraction to men etc. I don't think my 4 year old baby girl, or even when she is 10 years old needs to cover her beautiful hair, if it's summer I do not think she needs to wear a burkha to the park etc. I am happy for my daughter to learn about all faiths at 15/16 so she can pick one if she wants. But I don't like this whole notion of "get them while they are young"
I have emailed my ex two months ago stating the above, she didn't reply to the email so I assumed we were in the clear. I just had my daughter this weekend and my daughter was saying my ex is covering daughters head and getting daughter to perform prayers to Allah with her.
Like I said, I do not intend to offend anyone who has faith or belief in a God or God's. I am open minded to adult conversation and even understanding to whatever may bring peace to someone's life...but she is only 4 and I worry one day she will have to breakfree of these metaphorical shackles of Islam...
Any advice on the matter would be appreciated...I have attached just two of the learnings in this religion (I have studied comparative religion of most polytheistic and monotheistic religions which is why I am an atheist today).
Thanks so much in advance,
Yas
It's a difficult one, I'm not really sure how far the powers of the court go with regards to this and what could pragmatically be done about it. I think your best bet is to apply to spend more time with your daughter, because that is the one thing that gives you leverage to influence her education. I appreciate it might be difficult depending on circumstances, but I think that's where your choice lies.
Thanks so much for your response, I do feel as though you are right. The lack of responses from my ex regarding these matters is deeply concerning.
The Judge in the last hearing said I am to start a new case for scratch (mediation etc), which should be simple now as my ex has ignored my last two emails about attending mediation so hopefully the mediator can sign off that I tried my best to get my ex to attend. It scares me that my daughter will have to break free from all this information she is being fed at such a young age. And spending more time with her will mean I can have more of an influence as you mentioned.
I have gotten in touch with a mediation service local to me and will explain to them (with evidence) that my ex is unwilling to undergo mediation. Hopefully they will sign off my form so I can file a c100 and amendments to the existing order form.
Thanks so much for responding
Playing devil's advocate, I do think you need to be careful how you make your case, because if you go in raising concerns about the Islamic faith you're opening yourself up to be shot down very very quickly.
Are you saying they make a 4 year old wear a burkha outside ? That's a strong statement, can you prove it ? You'd also likely seriously offend your ex, and things could well become way more difficult going forward.
On the other hand, wanting to play a stronger role in your child's education and upbringing could be a really good thing for your daughter and portraits you in a positive light, and that's the approach I'd take.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.