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My wife and to some extent my kids too are driving me round the bend through doing absolutely nothing or sending mixed messages.
My wife seems determined for us to be the first couple in history to divorce entirely through the power of telepathy and the occasional snotty email. She left with the kids 4 months ago and is living with her parents. Apart from telling me it's all my fault from time to time in reply to my emails it's pretty much silence and inaction. If I push a tricky point like she's not perfect all of a sudden she needs space so stop emailing.
My kids 16 and 13 aren't helping the situation much. Son 16 writes the occasional email to tell me I'm to blame for everything from the Flood to North Korea. My daughter sends 7 word replies if anything all to multi-paragraph emails. She says my emails 'miss the point' but if I ask her what the point is she says work it out for yourself.
But I told 'em OK I'll move on and get out of your lives and they don't seem to like that either. It's like we all hate you but you're not allowed to get out of our lives and move on. You've got to stay here and keep guessing why we aren't talking to you.
Last evening I almost got to the point of saying to 'em all OK decide if you want to know me or not and get in touch if you do. If you want a divorce get on with it or get in touch when you want to sort things out one way or another. Every email my wife says something like I'm not influencing the kids against you but there's something going on.
I read all you're posts on here about wives indulging in every kind of maliciousness and I'm sure mine is no different when it comes to falling out of love and sticking it to the old man but this apparent inaction has got me completely frustrated and baffled. I don't know if I'm supposed to still love her or hate her guts. If we're going to get divorced why not just tell me and get on with it? Has anybody come across anything like this before or got a clue what's going on?
I can only suggest that you suggest to her that you both go to Relate to see if you can sort out the issues, or to establish that there isn't any point in continuing. If she doesn't want to do that, then you could always instigate divorce proceedings yourself, either you will proceed, or she may realise that she can't continue a life of indecision.
Thanks actd. To be honest I was surprised by the number of replies (zilch) compared to the number of reads. I thought somebody must have come across something like it but it seems to be a baffler. I suggested Relate before and she wouldn't go for it. I'm wondering if you're right about starting divorce proceedings myself except I wonder if she wants me to be the one to press the 'destruct' button so she can say to the kids 'getting divorced is your father's decision'. But you're right sooner or later it could be the issue is going to have to be forced.
Yes, I think it does need something to happen, otherwise she will continue to leave the situation as it is, which is not good for anyone.
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