[Solved] disguted and ashamed by how I feel

Hi there

Does the mother of your child know how you are feeling? Do you look after your child on your own at any time? Are you aware that men can also suffer from Post Natal Depression or PND? It sounds to me that this may be the case with you.

I think you should go and see your GP and talk to them about how you're feeling and ask for help. The doctor should refer you to counselling which hopefully will help.

Please don't suffer in silence, as the situation will only get worse...you have taken a really brave first step by opening up about it on here. The fact that you know you shouldn't be feeling this way and that you are looking for help to make it better is a good sign.

Good luck

Here's a link to the Pandas Foundation with a helpline number, it might help to talk to someone. 🙂

http://www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/help-and-information/pre-ante-and-postnatal-illnesses/da d's-and-depression.html#.VO4IoBEgGK0

Mum does not know how bad i feel partly because i know she finds parenting very hard too. We both agree that neither of us has the feelings towards our son that we should. She regrets it also.

I am responsible most for him as i do all the nursery runs and have him all day one day a week.

She sees him mostly at weekends but its a team effort then.

...PND is more common in men when the mother is also having problems, this sounds very much the case. If you can, it might be a good idea to open up to her and share your feelings. If she has been feeling the same, she should understand.

How are you coping when you have him on your own? Are you able to play with him and meet all of his needs? Is he anxious or unsettled?

Children are intuitive little souls and your child could be picking up on your anxiety. I urge you to seek advice and support from your GP and Health Visitor. If you are close to family perhaps you could ask for their support too.

There are treatments that can help immensely, from medication to Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and other talking therapies. There may be a support group in your area and your GP will be able to advise you further on this.

You have done exactly the right thing finding somewhere to talk about it, the link I have provided you with has a helpline and it might help to give them a call. It might help to know that you are not a bad person, this isn't your fault, you are depressed and you can do something to make it better.

I am avle to look after him and play and have fun and all hus needs are met. Im just not 'there' if that makes sense.

It was a traumatic birth as well.

In the early days i openly admitted mpnd but now its more of a dull acceptance really that this is pretty much it.

He is going through a tough behaviour stage at the moment which is really challenging such as tantrums and hitting.

I will follow the link you kindly sent.