[Solved] Denied Overnight Access

Hi There,
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You could keep your daughter as there isn't a current contact order in place, but I do think that it would have an adverse effect on the future contact, your ex is likely to stopp ALL contact and force your hand to go through mediation and possibly court.
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You would be better off to look into mediation without being forced into the route, You could write an official letter to your ex, asking for the over nights to continue and letting her know that if they don't then you will start the process of mediation and if that fails move onto the family courts so that an order can be written, as you have had the overnights then there would be a strong chance that a judge would back that again.
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If you fail to return your daughter when your ex says that she whould be returned, then if if you haven't broken any laws, it won't go in your favour in courtand your ex will play on this to fight her own corner.
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I know it's probably not the answer you were looking for but when you are in these situations, it's best to play things by the book, you will come accross better in court if you end up there.
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GTTS

What you've read on the Child Law website is correct as is what GTTS has advised... if she has stopped overnights for no reason and feels that she is the main parent, then really your best bet is mediation and if that fails. Court for a Child Arrangements Order.

You could try writing to her formally, stating that the contact schedule in place is in your child's best interests and stopping it suddenly for no reason is not. Ask that the schedule be reinstated immediately, or you will seek a court order for a shared care agreement, so that your child lives with you both and the the time spent is defined. If you felt more comfortable having it legally framed, you could instruct a solicitor to write to her.

Mediation has to be your first step, if she refuses overnights I would suggest you lose no time in getting this process started, before the no overnights schedule gets bedded in.

It's unfair that she can do this, but if family court is the direction that this is going in, then better to act quickly. If your ex has been fairly reasonable in the past, perhaps mediation will be helpful to get things back on track.

You know her better, it's up to you to weigh everything up, if you think she will back down if you keep hold of your child, then maybe it's worth calling her bluff.... perhaps an email or text stating that she is not acting in your child's best interests, that she will be upset at this change to her schedule and you do not agree to it and will be keeping hold of her as usual at the next visit.

Best of luck

Thanks for these replies.

Well I am 100% decided on mediation and have set the wheels in motion. I think there is a high chance we won't resolve it there and am preparing to go to Child Arrangement Order asap after that.

So the only thing I am not unsure about (and its really hard to decide) is to what extent I should go along with a really unfair situation she is enforcing that is against my daughter's interests. I've seen her for 4 hours now out of the last 9 days, we're both used to being together much more. Her mum has also now gone silent and is not giving me any information. I am having to decide whether to risk a "scene" at the school gates (it is my day to pick her up according to the schedule we've been using).

Any advice on whether the courts would look poorly on me going along with the agreed schedule, appreciated. My solicitor said not giving My daughter back "wouldn't necessarly" prejudice courts against me. As far as I'm concerned, a father who doesn't stick up for what's fair is letting his child down! Don't know what to do, all advice gratefully received...

Hi there

I've edited out your daughters name, it's better to keep these details out of the public domain.

Could I ask how old your daughter is?

What did you decide to do about picking her up from school?

Your daughter is used to seeing you so much more, so the quicker you can get the wheels in motion the better. Your solicitor might be right, but the courts "wouldn't necessarily" be prejudiced, still sounds a bit risky to me, I wouldn't take that chance to be honest.

Does the mother know you are prepared to take it all the way unless she puts contact back on track? Perhaps you should write to her formally and let her know that you are prepared to do whatever it takes to protect your daughters right to have you fully involved in her life and that its wrong to allow parental differences to interfere with that.

All the best