Defamation?

Yesterday I was due to take my daughter to the zoo. She’s seven. I hadn’t seen her for a month. I have a court order in place whereby I am aloud to see my daughter twice a month, one being a sleepover at my mother’s house. My parents are in their 70’s. They got ill ten days or so before the planned sleepover. I informed my daughter’s mother of this stating - due to age and ill health - that my daughter may not be able to stay overnight (She can’t stay with me because I’m in a bedsit).

I asked that I have two ‘visit’ days instead and gave over a week’s notice making it clear that this request is by no-means set in stone, so to say, but changeable as my parents may feel better.

I had no reply. So I thought that it was business as usual. Then Friday comes round and I’m driving back from work and I get a message stating that I have ruined her plans for the weekend and I can’t see my daughter because there’s another arrangement in place. I have no idea what these plans were because as usual I am the last person to know anything. Prior to this, about a week before, and given the only communication from my daughters’ mother is money related I receive a message asking me to log in to the CMS and that I need to contact them. I log in and apparently I don’t have to pay her anything, anymore. Obviously I think this is incorrect because it doesn’t make any sense, but probably correct as the CMS are nonsensical anyways. I called the number had a chat with a person that told me it was correct. I said ‘I think this is going to cause me real problems’ and I was right.

So, yesterday Saturday, I am due to take my daughter to the zoo. I pick her up, she’s upbeat happy can’t wait to see the animals. I'm happy to see her, we have a great relationship, we chat in the car about school and friends and what animals she wants to see at the zoo. I get to my parents house park up and we get out the car and walk up the drive to my parent’s house. My father is outside and my daughter walks up to him and says ‘My dad is a nasty man!’ out of nowhere. My father is taken back. Then my daughter starts to cry. Anyways this went on for two hours, crying, wailing and demanding she goes home. I really tried to stand my ground but I gave in. And I agreed that she could go home. Once this demand was settled my daughter calmed down and I could have a conversation with her, a one to one. I was very concerned as I hope you can imagine. Well it transpires that she is being told, daily and quizzed daily about my behaviour, my character, our general relationship. None of this is positive, it’s all poisonous. For context I found out that I had a daughter through the CMS and didn’t see her for the first 4 years of her life. I took her to court. Building a solid relationship with my daughter has been paramount and something I thought was going very well. It’s been very difficult since the court order has been in place with my marriage to another women coming to an end and my losing my house. One thing through that time was that I could see my daughter. The default setting in society is that the man is always wrong, no matter what. So the nasty man comment sends chills down my spine, what next? I have to, forced to prove my character to my own daughter? What can I do about the poisonous alienation my daughter is feeling?