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I am Irish and recently split up with my partner of 10 years. I met her in Australia and moved to her home town in the UK so we could be together. We have three young boys who I adore and have a great relationship with.
However we have split up and now find myself in a town where I never really made friends as frankly I was not allowed. I am not happy in my job and have been offered the opportunity of taking over the family business in Ireland.
I am very worried about losing that relationship and the kids thinking I abandoned them. Has anyone been affected by this and what was the outcome?
It's a tough one.
On the one hand you can remain for the kids sake, with the possibility that you continue to be unhappy and unfulfilled. This would have an effect on all aspects of your life and you may also feel resentment at a missed opportunity.
If you move back to Ireland you won't see your kids nearly as much, but you will have the support of family and friends and your own business, which you may find fulfilling.
IMO I think you need to look for ways to make this work for you and if you can get the ex's cooperation then you can mitigate the children's feelings of abandonment. Many parents cope with being away from their kids by making sure there's plenty of indirect contact and regular visits either you to them, or the other way round during school holidays.
Have you spoken to your ex about the offer in Ireland and how you could arrange things so that you had regular phone/FaceTime/Skype contact and a commitment to make sure the kids are the central focus. Here's a link to some info for long distance parenting that I posted for another member recently
http://www.divorcehelpforparents.com/long-distance-parenting.html
Best of luck with whatever you decide.
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