[Solved] Dad asking for minimal contact

When i split from my ex i of course wanted to spend as much time as i could with our child…however that was never going to work as “she who must be obeyed” wouldn’t allow it, i was also advised by a solicitor that getting a court to agree to 50/50 would be nigh on impossible while contact was being disputed by her and me.
So based on that i asked for what i was told would be a reasonable minimum contact that should be considered i.e. alternate weekends Friday from school to Sunday evening + 1 overnight per week.

I’ve actually never had any of what i reasonably asked for, ended up with a few hours on a Saturday or Sunday weekly because that is all “she who must be obeyed” would agree to at court.

I have always said that due to working 5 days a week and child living with ex in a different town any mid-week overnight would most likely be too disruptive to our child due to distance and time to get to and from mine.
Court has always said i was being very reasonable to consider not disrupting our child during the week. “she who must be obeyed” still refuses to allow any more time than she says and the court just seem powerless now to stop her.

If you are so worried about it going to court then why fight his request for time with your child? After all….you both created the child together….it’s your child’s right to see their father unless the father is a danger to the child, in which case restrictions would apply.

I think you may have misread my post. My suggestion on my position statement works out to 8 nights a month ( more if he wanted) plus half of all school holidays. The father had sent his position statement and has asked for 2 nights a month. He has taken this to court not me, all I will fight is that our daughter deserves more time with her father.

Hi There,
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I think as we have said before you can't enforce that a father sees their child, they can only gain an agreement in court that you must make the child available for the set out times and dates that are ordered in court.
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I still feel that what you have suggested is more than fair but if he won't agree then there isn't much more you can do.
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GTTS

It's surprising that he wants less than what you propose, but I would just tell the court that you willingly agree to his proposals, as long as they are thoughtful to your child's need for a gentle re introduction so that she can get used to her fathers new living arrangements. I doubt the court will order more than he wants.

I would make your case without worrying about his, you could highlight the fact that contact is about your child's right to have a relationship with both parents, that you're surprised that he stopped contact because of his own well being, whilst ignoring that of his child's, or just leave it to the court to make the correlation.

As far as his work commitments, I would leave that be, the court will take it on board, it is what it is I'm afraid.

Hopefully as your daughter gets older, her Dad will want to see more of her.

Thank you, it really saddens me, she starts Nursery school in September and the fri - mon meant he could of picked her up and took her, he would of had a lovely insight into her school life, friends etc but he doesn’t seem to want it.

Phone contact— he has asked to call everyday with no time restrictions. I don’t think this is fair at the moment on our daughter, mainly in case he just stops again. He refuses to give me any details for himself, so I am suppose to have my phone available for him to call everyday and whenever he wants but our daughter is allowed no option to call him. If he sticks to s contact order and maintains contact then everyday will be fine but it had a huge impact on our daughter when he went from daily calls to nothing at all! He blocked her Ipad ( it’s her sisters old one but “hers” that’s what he would call her on) he now refuses to call on that as he doesn’t want me knowing his email.

Surely asking for set times such as between 4-5pl if ok? It provides structure and our daughter can look forward to the call.
He missed his Wednesday call as he phoned once she was in bed.

I think it's more important that the contact times are regular and reliable, so if he can't commit to more regular contact, then fewer nights is the preferable option to not turning up when he's supposed to. The same goes for phone contact - you could possibly allow the odds missed call by telling your daughter that he did ring, but if that become regular, then he needs to be restricted in that also to make sure thay he does stick to his commitment. As soon as he's relaible in either form of contact, then you can agree to increase contact if he desires that.