[Solved] Coronavirus - is that it for us now? No contact?

hi,

just watched the grim news about the lock-down. this forum and cafcass site have been mentioning video calls/face time a lot. sadly this is becoming a reality now. looks like it will be 3 weeks of video calls for now. as Boris said lock-down will be reviewed in 3 weeks time. first i need to argue with someone to actually arrange video calls.:x 😡 😡

Boris said we don't want disease spreading between households. so wonder if we would get in trouble if police stop us, picking up our kids outside? (if ex even allows that to begin with).

Well, there's slight relief in that they are reviewing it in three weeks, as I didn't realise. Although it still sucks not to see our kids for that amount of time, especially when a lot of us have already been through periods of time not being able to see our kids because of our ex partners.

Another concern for me is my ex home-schooling my daughter - whether she will actually do it. So far it has only been me doing it. Our children don't deserve to lose out on their education to a virus they didn't choose to have in their lives. Hopefully my ex will surprise me.

I hope your ex lets you speak to/video call your kids. Mine has just emailed me to say that's what we will do. Going to try and get it scheduled properly though so there's a routine to it for my daughter.

Hopefully when it is reviewed, there will be some mention of separated families, even if it's just an acknowledgement, because there are so many of us in this day and age and although my ex is being reasonable about it right now by the sounds of it(for a change - although no doubt she will be getting a kick out me not being able to see our daughter), a lot of children who live with toxic/bitter/angry/unreasonable mothers or fathers are going to be alienated from their other parent right now.

hi,

if your ex is primary carer, then onus will be on her to home educate. schools will be giving out guidance/home studies, so will most likely review childs performance when they return to school. or maybe they will take a relaxed approach due to the virus.

thanks, yes I hope ex lets me have video calls. cafcass woman is meant to be visiting me next week as part of section 7 report. she already told me that if i don't spend time with kids because of ex/virus, then the least I am expected to have is video calls.

Hello semifinalist,

I don't really know what to say to you. It's a dreadful situation for everyone none more so for all the fathers and grandparents like me who love and miss being with their children.

Difficult to do but I believe if we can have the strength of character and look at the corona virus situation and let that be our main objective at present the quicker we shall return to normal life. I believe Taiwan was very quick to react with stringent rules and testing when China had it's first cases and as a result there are very few cases and no deaths in that country to date.

If the country goes into lock down, people isolate for a number of weeks and everyone strictly abides by the requests made by the government and scientists, transmission of the virus will cease because there will not be people available to host it and the virus as we know it now will die a death a lot quicker than if we do not act sensibly, In this time of isolation, if adhered to, it would result in non transmission of the virus. The health service will manage considerably better and also be able to help other seriously ill people who are in desperate need of help. The scientists are working flat out to produce a vaccine. Engineers are building ventilators as quick as they can. Everyone of us can help all these people by isolating ourselves physically but keeping communication thriving by using the internet, social media, skype, telephone, writing letters particularly to our dearly loved children.

This situation will not last forever but lets get rid of this virus as quick as we can so that we can get back to where we were before it began and go forward.

Most important of all is the health of our children and if we have to forsake seeing them for a brief period for them to stay healthy and for their life to return to normal, school, friends, pursuing their interests then that is everything.

It is truly a dreadful time but let us all act sensibly to get rid of this virus. Short term pain for long term gain.

I do not under estimate the pain, fear, anxiety, worry and the loss felt through missing the children, I feel it myself!

Indeed. Don't get me wrong, I am not underestimating the seriousness of the situation, and this lockdown is exactly what needed to happen - it should have happened much sooner really. I just thought I would come on here to share my grief a bit and let others do the same. I really hope everyone starts taking it seriously now, there's been too many people trying to just carry on as normal, which is so selfish and careless. You're right about putting the children first. The sooner we can get this under the control, the sooner our children can get back to having a 'normal' childhood.

Just made a thread for this ..
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others

However you find the difficulty of transporting your child. In these times it's important to co-parent and I know how difficult that can be! But does your ex drive, can they drop your child off?

Given the government guidelines and Cafcass guidelines it's important that decisions are made in the interest of the child and having contact and keeping a routine is in the interest (whilst keeping them safe of course) not who does the travel etc!

May be worth mentioning it, do all you can to give her no reasonable justification to refuse contact?

I hope you find a solution that works as it looks like contact should remain in place

Good luck

Hey, thanks for that. I was just wondering if there was a certain part of that which you feel indicates that my physical contact with my daughter should continue?

Hi,

Yes i believe physical contact should continue, providing you can do so in a safe way.

Michael Gove has just gone on to BBC and confirmed that children under age of 18 should have contact between parents' home.

I have a recording of what was exactly said but unsure how to post this.

Good luck

Hi,

Yes i believe physical contact should continue, providing you can do so in a safe way.

Michael Gove has just gone on to BBC and confirmed that children under age of 18 should have contact between parents' home.

I have a recording of what was exactly said but unsure how to post this.

Good luck

Do you know which programme it was? Maybe I can find it on iplayer later?

Just made a thread for this ..
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others

However you find the difficulty of transporting your child. In these times it's important to co-parent and I know how difficult that can be! But does your ex drive, can they drop your child off?

Given the government guidelines and Cafcass guidelines it's important that decisions are made in the interest of the child and having contact and keeping a routine is in the interest (whilst keeping them safe of course) not who does the travel etc!

May be worth mentioning it, do all you can to give her no reasonable justification to refuse contact?

I hope you find a solution that works as it looks like contact should remain in place

Good luck

thanks for that. i get impression that ex is already determined to block contact. however i will still send her that pdf. would have to be video calls as last resort.