[Solved] corona virus

Hello Lostinblac,

No, I do not believe you should feel "bad" if you adhere to government guidelines and your own personal circumstances.

What I do believe is vital is that you keep in contact with your children regularly via skype, telephone etc. Also keep a record of when you do for future reference if needs be.

I hope the mother of your children is agreeable for you to communicate with them.

My Son has done the same, the Mother is a very difficult person to deal with so for us it is not an easy situation where she readily agrees with any suggestion. Taking into account the dreadful situation we are all in, my Son always asks if she is alright and does she require anything.

I agree - I think Skype etc are more sensible ways of reducing risk at the moment. If your ex is anything like reasonable, you could ask her if she will give you extra time once this is all over - it's safer for her too if you aren't mixing, so she is benefitting from your decision.

I don't think anyone should feel guilty, or be made to feel guilty for whatever they decide. There is no right decision, and any consequences either way will only be in hindsight, so you have to go with whatever feels right now.

hello thanks for both of your replys.

I havnt said anything to my ex at the moment but I've been dreading it because I know how horrible she will be.

I'm currently working and will be working and I'm so nervous about all of this. ws we have sepeate houses aswell so feel the risk is very high i just think my ex will say I'm "[censored] her off" and I would want to ring all the time but my ex always says my daughter said she doesnt want to speak ect you never know what's true. but I just feel so guilty

hello thanks for both of your replys.

I havnt said anything to my ex at the moment but I've been dreading it because I know how horrible she will be.

I'm currently working and will be working and I'm so nervous about all of this. ws we have sepeate houses aswell so feel the risk is very high i just think my ex will say I'm "[censored] her off" and I would want to ring all the time but my ex always says my daughter said she doesnt want to speak ect you never know what's true. but I just feel so guilty

your in a much better position than some other dads like me. shes not letting me see the kids because of this situation, and no interest in allowing phone contact. so i have to rely on courts to stop her acting silly. follow gov guidelines and carry on seeing your kids. take extra precautions.

I can imagine women are using this to there advantage I just worry alot. I see her for one day on a sunday and it scares me about any risk of me giving it to her or her giving it to us we have a 4yo and a 3 months old baby so I'm really scared also I'm still working in a nursery

Hi,
I don't offer my opinion much usually in cases I am wrong, but I think this forum is amazing for advice, and I have been helped no end by the kind folk on here.
This I feel quite strongly about.

Personally I would say as you are a key worker and out there working with children in a nursery I would do as you are suggesting and protect your child even if that is by not seeing them for a period of time 🙁
Daily video calls, Skype or phone call if possible is essential to help keep your relationship strong. How old is your daughter? you mentioned ex will suggest she doesn't want to speak to you, can you get a cheap phone & sim to her purely for use to speak to you in this crisis.

Until you can safely say you have self isolated and not been near anyone in the last 14 days and your ex house has taken the same precautions, you can not guarantee you have not contracted it. I think you'd be acting reasonably & sensibly at the moment to say no to contact.
She would need to understand this and make other ways to accommodate indirect contact.
Good luck with the difficult ex I'm fully aware how difficult these can be.
Take a read of this, I found it originally on Cafcass website.

https://www.judiciary.uk/announcements/coronavirus-crisis-guidance-on-compliance-with-family-court-child-arrangement-orders/

We sadly are the other way, my partner and I are staying home to stay safe as is his ex wife's household. Yet she refuses contact Indefinately.
Until they go back to school or corona suddenly walks out the door. (like that's happening anytime soon)
We have repeatedly reassured her we are staying home we have not been in contact with anyone for over 14 days and neither has she.
So as the government guidelines state children under 18 are able to safely move houses.
Obviously that's if we both can honestly say the above, there is no reason contact should not go ahead as per the court order, obviously move them in your private car only, no public transport and then carry on the same precautions during contact.
Both acting reasonably and sensibly in these unprecedented times.
Who wouldn't want to protect their children 🙁
Yet she refuses to discuss and says No until its all over. 🙁
Some parents are definately using these awful times to take and show they have the control and power to do as they please. Even when it upsets and confuses the children. Sad times!
Stay safe!!

I'm having similar issues. We agreed in mediation that I'd have my 2 girls, 6 and 4, Thursday to Monday week one and then Thursdays week 2 and half all holidays.

Their mother recently decided 4 nights was too much and reduced it to 2 nights week one without any good reason. She even went to take both girls out of school at lunchtime on a Thursday saying they had "dentists appointments" (which they didn't). I turned up to collect them and they weren't there.

Now with the advent of Corona their mother is saying they're isolating for 2 weeks and I can't see them. I have had contact over FaceTime twice in the last week even though I've called and texted and emailed to request every day.

I pointed out the gov guidelines but she's not interested. I'm concerned that my girls are living in a toxic environment.

Am applying for 50/50 split but am worried the longer this goes on the less likely I'll be to get that result.

Sad times. I live on my own.

I suggested with my ex that we postpone contact (i only see them every other Saturday via court order following months of no contact) but instead we video call.

My ex said yes to postponing, no to phone or video contact as it isnt in the court order.

Then she has stated that the next saturdsy will ne the same but if i want to speak to my children by phkne she requires 24hrs notice, only to take place on my allotted saturday.

Is it just me or is this very unreasonable given the circumstances. We are back in court in the summer for final hearing.

It is very unreasonable to only allow a phone call and to have to give 24 hours notice. Sure you cant see kids as would make things more complicated for final hearing.

I can imagine women are using this to there advantage I just worry alot. I see her for one day on a sunday and it scares me about any risk of me giving it to her or her giving it to us we have a 4yo and a 3 months old baby so I'm really scared also I'm still working in a nursery

it should be fine. just keep washing hands.

To Superdad - and other fathers in the same situation.

I think your Ex is being very unreasonable considering the situation that prevails with the corona virus at present. However, there is little fathers who have this type of ex can do at the moment other than to accept what the mothers will "allow."

What I would do is send a polite email to her requesting 'phone or video contact with your children more frequently as you are concerned for the health of the children due to this virus and how they are coping with not going to school, missing their friends, the change in their daily routine etc. Refrain from mentioning how you feel or how unreasonable she is being.
SAVE this email and any reply you get.
Keep a diary of when you have contact with the children and any texts / emails your Ex sends to you. You will then be able to present evidence to the court of her unreasonable behaviour when you have your Final Hearing later in the year.

Take the "high ground" and give your Ex no reason to criticise you whilst at the same time keep a diary and save all correspondence from her. Controlling people thrive on thinking they have the upper hand but little do they realize their appalling behaviour only serves to give information to others to eventually use against them, in this case in the Family Law Courts. I believe these mothers have shown no regard for their children, no flexibility and flouted the documented expectations of the Government and Cafcass regarding the welfare of children during such a crisis as this pandemic.

I personally believe that the heightened concern for all children during this crisis will reflect in the Family Law Courts particularly against those mothers who make the situation worse by denying children contact by 'phone, skype, facebook etc with their fathers at such a time.