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How do you keep in touch with your kids when seperation happens in a family?. This is a problem all dads face when this happens. In some cases things go smoothly, but for the majority it doesn't.
I was married for around 12 years things have not always been smooth sailing as in any marriage, we have 3 kids and I adore them as any father would. Now just after Christmas 2013,2014, things started to get strange, she started saying we have problems and need a break to sort things out. This went on for a couple of months with plenty of arguments and the kids suffering. So in April that year I left, saw the kids at weekends and in the week when possible. Then 3 weeks later a man was in our house while I was waiting for her to talk and sort things out. At first I didn't twig on what was going on, my daughter came to the door, and the look on her face I will never forget. This was when she told me she loved this guy. You can imagine how that felt. Things have now gone from bad to worse, since all this happened the school got in touch, worried about them and a had meeting with them, the outcome was that they wanted to get in touch with social services and so should I. This happened and now they have contacted her and now she has stopped me seeing kids( this is not the first time). Now I have been reading alot on fathers rights and even mediation, although this is not law binding and she does not have to attend and seems a waste of money as I know she will not. The other option is to go through a solicitor and get formal rights to see them through the court, on agreed times, or get a form I believe is a C100 , again this costs money and again no garante she will stick to this. I do pay maintenance for the children which was more than the csa would take. I would also like to say that things have been said by my self and my ex that should not have been, which when you get provoked is not easy to back out off. On most occasions I Try to walk away.
My question is.... What exactly do fathers who are genuine, want to see there kids ,be involved in their lives, what rights do we have, as far as I can tell it is all geared up for the mother, which in my and I would say ,lots off other dad's opinions is wrong.
What I also want to know ls what can be done to make it easier for the dad to have their rights heard and sorted out fairly, at the end of the day all I want is to see my children with no hassle, why is it so hard for this to happen?
Hey and welcome to the forum π
Unfortunately neither parents have any rights it is only the child/children that do it does seem like all is in the mothers favour but thats only because they are the resident parent and the courts assume that they are comfortable where they are living.
Now it is every childs right to have BOTH parents in their lives that is the Law and you wouldn't think it but the Family courts do stick to that like glue and providing you are no threat to your children they bend over backwards for a Father to spend time with and be apart of his childs life.
You sound like you know what you need to do which is first try mediation if or when that fails you get the mediator to sign the c100 then your good to go to apply to the courts.
You then have two options 1. use a solicitor who will absolutely tear your eyes out for money and they will slow the whole process right down or 2. Self represent if you self rep it will only cost you mediation fee to sign your form about Β£100 then Β£215 for you c100 application then that's it for the duration of the case.
Either way I can guarantee you will be part of your childs life it will just be a whole lot less expense if you self rep π
I chose option 2 and I'm so pleased I did I actually enjoyed fighting for my daughter and I'm defo a better person for it I managed to get an order in place having took me roughly 6 months for an interim order then 8 months for a final order I'm still not out the woods yet but the courts have ordered over night stays prolonged contact including holidays xmas ect has to have started by this april I have built my bond back up with my daughter and I see her every week and my ex can't mess me about no more π
What I would say is first and foremost stop any bad communication with the ex don't reply to any texts emails phonecalls whatever as she will get you banged up at the drop of a hat of do you for harassment next up contact a mediator tomorrow and get the ball rolling as the sooner the better use this site for info and guidence and you will start to build your confidence and see that it's not a case of IF you see your children but WHEN π
Slim π
BTW maintenance and contact are two separate things as you pay maintenance that doesn't mean you get contact thats why you have to apply for a child arrangement order through court also seeing as SS are involved that will come out in the court case as CAFCASS will look into that side of things all you have to do is show the court why you should be involved in your childrens lives and make everything you do and say purely about the kids π
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