Contact Stopped, Social and Police involved

Enforcement order applied and paid for not heard anything from the court.

I was intending to collect my son from school this afternoon and turn up early but have decided now against it.

After many calls 3 weeks to 101 police, i called them again this morning for any update. The DC whom i spoke with on Wednesday refused to give information because the investigating officer is sick and look likely to be sick for a while, however today after complaining she was able to let me know that since my concerns was raised uniformed officers indeed went out to carry out safe and well checks they was not able to speak with him but a worker or social worker did and an allegation against me was made by my son. They did not share thisballegation  however i can deduce that it will be of violence towards him or hos mother. I have never been violent but mither keeps protraying me as violent.

As result they advised it best if i did intend to see him this weekend that perhaps should not because it could escalate allegations further. I spoke with social they confirmed this but advised they have been pushing police to escalate it and investigate because  it gone on too long.

Social also advised that mother is alledging allegations of adult nature basocally all she does is mirror my allrgations making it [censored] for tat. I said to the social how is it i have raised concerns that are to be investigated which i did also in 2018 and they was minimised, how is it that these get manipulated and turned around on me?

Anyhow im just down by this corrupt game and coming to accept that this is probably the realtiy and just give up on hom as he maybe too far gone by all the brainwashing and manipulation which was never investigated.

Just an update for all.

I attended a voluntary interview with the police on Tuesday 14/12/21 upon being informed by them on 7/12/21 that an assault allegation was made against me despite having made safeguarding concerns on 15/11/21. The police i understood had conducted a safe and well check at school  on 16/11/21 and it appears he made an allegation against me.

I was able to share information, my concerns of emotional abuse and evidences with Police as a result the matter has been filed as no further action required. Therefore, they have no concerns. They went to his mothers home to carry out a home check on 7/12/21 where they asked a series of questions to both he and her and he conformed the assault but was able to elaborate.

The police was able to confirm and determine that Younus was being primed/coached by his mother to make such allegations as adult phrases was used that were not of his own. For instance when did father start smacking you, ' since day 1', where does he smack you ' arms, back, stomach and kick me in legs', when did he last hit you '4 weeks ago'. He also elaborated that 'he also abuses me and neglects me'. This basicallly suggests there was never any proof or reports made to any authorities, and if it was the case mother would have been made aware and she failed to act dutifully and responsibly.

I have informed the DSL worker of the facts and she thanked me and stated she will inform the necessary people at school. What i am annoyed at is they never once told me in 3 weeks despite me communicating with them. I am also annoyed that my safeguarding concerns have been ignored and spun to focus on me.

The police report was such a relief and i know its not my son and its not his fault and that his mother is really working on him hard extremely. This rebuffs any claims of abuse prior to my court case and as a result she fabricated to stop contact without any reason.

I had my directions hearing matter listed for next Tuesday at 10am after my enforcement application, it looks as though it may require cafcass.

I have just recieved an email claiming that school will be last day tomorrow before they break up for xmas, and it would be my weekend.

Therefore, i am not sure if should to attempt to collect him tomorrow.??

I really miss him not seen him in 2 months now!

I can understand your decision.  However, if the existing order states that you may  collect your son from school and it hasn't been changed, then you are entitled to pick him up.  Please don't give up.  It can very very frustrating and wearing but hopefully it will come out ok in the end.  You have your enforcement hearing coming up when you have a chance to explain everything.

Hi All, I hope you all had a Good Christmas and a Happy Holiday with a bright start to the New Year! 

As an update i spent many weeks chasing the authorities 3 weeks to be exact about understanding what happend about my referral, what the police spoke to my son about etc and getting some outcome.

Indeed it was bought to my attention that on the day police had spoken to my son on 16th November apparently he made an allegation of violence against me. I was invited to speak to a new assigned officer after many complaints by myself on the 15th December where i had voluntarily gone in with representations about the alleged comments. The interview was audio and video recorded  During the interview the officer had had revealed how my son had answered the following questions:

When did your father start hitting you? “From the very start on day 1”

When was the last time your father hit you? “A couple of weeks ago when I last saw him”

Where does your father hit you?  “He hits me on my back, my arms and he sometimes kick me on the shins”

On a scale of 1-10 how much would you say it hurts? “It hurts a lot like 10, and when he kicks me it sometimes really stings”

Is there anything about your father you do not like or concerns you? “He gets very angry, and he also neglects and abuses me”

The police officer felt that my son was not using his own words and felt that he was being primed/ coached by his mother to make such allegations as adult phrases was used that were not of his own. They was also concerned as to why these was never reported by his mother after she claimed if she was aware that I have been violent to my son from day 1. After I shared with her my information and evidence, she filed the matter as no further action, but informed me that such matters have to be investigated and they feel that I can continue resuming my normal contact. I went to collect my son from school on 17/12/21 as this was the day he was due to break up for Christmas holidays and as it was my contact weekend. I met with the DSL worker who informed me that my son did not attend school that day.

I went to a hearing on 21/12/21 whereby i was able to have indirect contact via video conference for 30 minutes or however long as he wants every other day, she is not to be present in the room but direct contact suspended until a safeguarding letter is presented. So the hearing is listed on 19/1/22.

When i first spoke with my son, he seemed to be so relieved and happy to see and speak with me that he could not contain his smile. We spoke over an hour despite him clock watching. The call was originally arranged on Teams which my son has his own email that i set up for him during homeschooling at lock down. My second call however she on the time of call said it needs to be via whats app on her phone so it can monitored and that she can provide evidence to court. It also resulted in her bombarding me of messages that i am emotionally manipulating my son, talking about the case and blaming him or her, because he says he misses me and wants to see me, his brother and his room. I agreed to avoid conflict to keep calls on Whats app but i was able to record them too.  This call did not go too well as  a result and i got a repeated pattern of this occurring 1 day very positive lasting an hour until she ends it, the second call immediately after not positive he utters his moms words, tells him what to say and he is not able to be himself and he ends calls early. He has also accused me of controlling him and manipulating him and uses examples such as "You always control me, you always say go and get me my glasses, or go get me your vape or go get me a chocolate or something its always what you want”. He has also claimed he will be tired and exhausted to speak to me in 3rd person, and calls to be reduced 2 times a week as opposed to every other day due to his hectic and busy schedule during the holidays, whereby he has said he has done nothing other stay home watch movies and relax.

The mother is just unable to let go and is creating conflict placing my son directly in the middle. She is brainwashing him and manipulating him whilst orchestrating how the calls go. She is making herself relevant and trying to gain attention, pretty sad and pathetic really. My son has no real understanding of the gravity of the situation and what she is making him say or how to behave against me. She is happy to use him in order to fulfill her agenda. A concerning things is my son shares the same bedroom as his mother. This means she is controlling every aspect of my sons life. I have expressed that he must have his own bedroom being 9years old, they have another bedroom in the apartment which is regarded as the guest bedroom. My son sadly is at risk of longer-term emotional harm. She is very envious and jealous of my relationship. In 3 months i have not seen him she still has not cut his hair or his nails which i ensure is done every week or two weeks when he is with me.

I have spoken to a designated social worker who feels they dont need to get involved, its taken 4 years!. By the way it is the same social service that was involved in the death of Arthur that has been in the news recently..pretty bad isnt it. I have also spoken to cafcass and made them aware of as much as i can, she appeared to be friendly and listening who knows what the report will say. She did reveal that she spoke to mother first and she when questioned regarding the violence etc she was unable to answer and give examples and was not able to answer direct questions.I have gone in with a view to get full residency as a long shot.

How else can i demonstrate this individual is harming abusing my son mentally, emotionally and verbally?? can i get an expert witness dealing with these matters to review the evidences and write a report??

thanks

Sid 

As an update my calls up until my hearing Wed 19th had stopped as mother was orchestrating the calls and coaching my son how to behave and what to say.

At the hearing mother joined via video as my son had covid. She was asked how calls went she claimed i was manipulating and coaching my son, blaming her and family etc. She had to monitor calls because apparently police, social and cafcass told her too. She was quized and asked precisely what i had been saying as examoles she couod not give any and stumbled stuttering due to lies. 

I told them everytime i had a positive call i was bombarded with text messages that i am emotionally manipulating him. Then eventually my son not allowed to be himself. I shared concerns that my son shares the same bedroom as his mother, all my calls are recorded and i cannot any longer continue with this as it is and the conflict i am simply prepared to walk away.

Upon hearing this lay justices who never had our statements despitw submitting them over a week before the hearing gad ordered a section 37 report to determine how my son has ended uo where he is.

The matter has been adjourned until Mid April.

My call took place the day of the hearing as it should because i believe mother was afraid of being told off and my threat to leave. 

However, my call that was meant to hapoen today my son never shown. I cant unserstand any child who looks forward to not speaking with their parent.

I do feel by bating her about wlaking away and now that she has my statement she will be letting our son see these and i hope this will reveal and unravel itself over time that she is mentally and emotionally abusing our son.

I am being alienated. My statement i managed to get an expert witness who specialises in matters child custody and divorce cases to assess the case and she was able to deduce the gas lighting and the fact she is in fact alienating the relationship and placing our son directly in the middle of conflict.

I have a long wait and plenty of games to experience.. just hope i get my eldest son so he can reunite with his younger brother and real family. 

So stressed by this all need some advice on coping startegies