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I went to collect my son last week from school and was told he was removed at 14.45 aftwr a call to main office by mother. I was not informed by mother. Early in the week i informed i will collect him from school to resume contact and drop to school on Monday. She responded no i wont and to drop to her on sunday 6pm.
Prior to this message she began accusing me domestic violence towards her and now my son. I last saw him three weeks ago. It was my new son birthday which my eldest got to share the milestone. He also had his cousin stay over with him on that satirday and we go together as a family swimming which is lovely.
Hiwever since moving on my son is being enotionally and mentally abused, brainwashed and manipulated. Because he says things of an adult nature channeled towards me, sudden change in his behaviour, becomes aggressive, seems anxious and withdrawn. The last couole of weeks even after his play time he became suddenly withdrawn and started to question life what is the point he just wants to die, my life is ruined etc..i could not fathom this ither than his mother. She has previously said similar things to him which he told me, not to mention when she claimed she was possesses and demon wanted to kill her and our son.
As a result last week i raised my concerns to the NSPCC who felt the matter to be escalated so children services and police. I understand the police sooke with my son at school with liasion officer present its been almost two weeks and i have not heard from the authorities or police and as a subsquent mother stopped the contact without notice.
I have called the CS the women who dealing with it she said its just allocated to her. She was useless previously she she minimised my concerns about the possession and said ita normal for dirt to be thrown between ex's. The police investigating officer has been sick. I have no idea how my son is other then police sayinf he is safe and well. Given he was taken away after my concerns was raised. Like usuall before she did she claiming i am domesticllly violent to my son and that i should apologise to him!!?? The allegations of abuse started because i refused to have dinner with her a month earlier claiming it was for my sons birthday and that he wanted it. Its entirely inappropraite she is interfering with contact and my life hooing she can break my marriage and create tension between me and wife. She has not moved on in 10yeara as son is 9 now.
The liasion officer at school is not forthcoming with information and not empatheitc to mu concerns. I have informed them to support my child since 2016 and to speak with him regularly. Because he is a high performer they say he is ok.
I have not seen my son for 3 weeks, my ohone calls are ignored and she does not get him to call me.
I have a child arrangement order which she is breaching, she has bit stated why contact has stipped other than i am physically harming my son but that is in retaliation to my concerns to authority.
I need to enforce my orser and vary it to make it water tight and go no contact with her as she cannot cope with communicating or seeing me. I keep having allegations of avuse bombardes which is abuse in itself. I want a harassment and non mol against her as in 10 years not moving on is like being atalked by a psychopath how to proceed please im going barmy at home and its straining my home lofe and mariage
Thats very sad and must be very worrying for you. As she is breaching the child arrangements order, you or a solicitor could write her a letter advising her to reinstate contact immediately, or you could apply to the court yourself. There will be a warning notice on the order explaining the consequences of breaching it. I would suggest a letter in the first place so you have proper evidence of her non compliance. The court will need to be sure that she does not have a reasonable excuse - ie the boy is ill. Keep a record of the calls you make but do not make so many it can be construed as harassment. You can find the application form on the .gov.uk website.
Hi,
I agree with Champagne. You can send her a letter/message reminding her to follow the order, and if she doesn't you will apply to court to enforce the order. to enforce you would need to fill in form C79. costs £232. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-c79-application-related-to-enforcement-of-a-child-arrangement-order
in the meantime you could speak with the school, and try gather evidence from them and social services, that the child is suffering any kind of abuse due to mother, if that's the case. and can use that information to support your case if you go back to court.
I understand that schools keep records under child protection. You could ask them you want records from that, anything regarding your child.
- @bill337 thank you. This is exactly what she wants is to take me back to court because it gives her the control and knowing she can pull me away from my home and marriage as she likes. I have told her i dont want you interfering in my calls to my son i want to speak with him and not you. Give me the same courtesy that i give you when you call. I have been messaging her phone asking to speak with son, and informed she has breached but no reoly. Prior to her stopping without informing is she claiming i am viokent towards my son as means to retaliate to the concerns i made to authorities.
- I will need to enforce the order as i dont believe there are reasonable grounds to stop, i certianly am not violent to my son and the allrgations came when i said i dont want to soeak with her and i dont want dinner with her
- I will also need to vary my order as i only get him on weekend every ither week and nothing in the week. That said she has no issue to let me have him fur the full lockdown period as she worked for NHS as key worker but lies to CMS. Recently he been coming every weekend. She gives me more at her convenience or when she cant cope. I dont think she will cope if my order doesnt change. She does it so she can maximise payment from CMS. Golden Uterus Syndrome.
- What is concerning is social have not called me and i feel as though they are avoiding me. I have called again today and left messages. Police officer is off sick. I feel she will try to say i am violent to my son, without evidence. Given that he is 9 if this goes to court is he abke to soeak himself??
hi,
I have heard from other dads that had enforced their order, that it often ends up becoming a variation of the order. So you could use this chance to get more time with child. Court will probably get cafcass involved. if they do section 7 report, they will speak to your child and find out his views/wishes.
Its coming to 3 weeks and i have not heard from authorities police or social. I last spoke with the case worker assigned on Monday just gone who informed me she has just been assigned the case and will read and get back to me. When i informed her my contact was stopped when ex took him from school earlier, she SS informed me that this was not advised by them. I waited all week then to reach out on Friday and was told they will pass a message on but still nithing. I realised that the person i am dealing with was the same person who i raised concerns to about my sons wellbeing and ex wife mental health regarding her claims of being possessed. I wrote a rather concerrlning email with a recording of what my son was saying which i felt she did not read or take seriously 3 years ago. Her response was that i was invoking my son to say things when all i did was record and listen and asked why my son felt the way he did and why he is saying things of an 'adult nature' and how he can possibly know. Secondly, she comoletely seemed to miss the point and address my concerns in email absolutely minimising and disregarding claiming its normal for ex with conflict to throw dirt at one another. I was flabagasted by this individual and could not fathom the lack of concern of son wellbeing and mither repeat behaviourm i highlighted im not interested in throwin dirt for over 7 years since our divorce at the time iv ket things slide and pass all to keep peace and stay positive for my son. He is now being abused because i have gone no contact with ex because she wants to coercively control me. I did lose my rag with her because of this lack of regard and i began to question her role why she is in a job and has absolutely no ability to look at things with common sense and solve problems. I did apologise to her after i had cooled down but these people as a service completely shocking. I am therefore a little concerned that mother may have manipulated her way again to be seen as godmother in front of other and blame me.
The main point i want to ask is given the concerns and all mother has done is took him from school early on the day i was to collect him and since is ignoring my calls and text messages. As i have parental responsibility and concern for him and i miss him dearly what stopping me to collect him from school on monday as i know he has after school club at the school. It is my understanding they cannot come in the middle or prevent me? Even if she blighted claims to school that i am this violent angry man nobody has said that i cannot see my son. The liasion officer is obstanate and seems to be looking for clues when we speak but has only recently communicated with me. Never 3 years ago. Police have not got in touch and neither have social and she said herself if mother has stopped then u need to go court or soeak with her to resolve.
Neither has ex wife not said you cannot see him or given any reasonable explanation for no contact for that matter other than her behaviour which is passive aggressive.
I intend to go and just turn up at school unannounced and collect him from his class or afterschool club. Is this in the current situation a wise thing to do?? Are there any questions i can ask the liasion officer??
Please advise as i intend to do a C100 to vary my order and C79 enforcement of order. Ideally i want my son to live with me or shared care. Reason being is she diregards our order and gives me a lot more anyway after a while like each weekend or all the holidays but then lies to CMS.
i dont want to give too much away early in the application when completing these forms so need some help on filling the forms to take it to court.
Only want to reveal when i make my statements.
I intend to self represent because i feel as i am content with myself and emotions i can do it because i understand and see through her now.
Any advice or guidance will be greatly apprecites
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