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Hi,
Please accept my apologies if I am in wrong forum I'm a newbie looking for your thoughts on my dilemma.
I split up with the Mother of my 3 Beautiful Boys some 6 years ago... Now 13, 10, and 8 years old, it wasn't the most pleaseant of splits but we both love our kids we lived within 5 mins of each other I saw them every day then me ex met someone else I had no proba with it even having Boys overnight while they courted we both thought that best all round then 3 month into relationship I hear he a heroine addict all be it allegedly a recovering one .
I voice my concerns to her she denies it I asked about and yes he was an addict on methadone and downer tabs so I said I think it best you keep him away from Boys They can stay with me whenever you see him she didn't like it within a week full contact stopped no replies to calls texts if I called round I was harassing her etc now bear in mind at the time They were 7 4 and 2 I had seen them every day of there life's up till this as I'm sure you all aware the pain not physical pain worse the aching the stress the anxiety was overwhelming after 2 week of getting no where I thought I would try there Nana, my exs Mother we always got on prob better than they did.
Nana was like "oh What's going on,where's my daughter?" this was 9am on a Sunday morning so I told her the situation she informed me she had the Boys with her since Fri after school, my ex was out partying 10 mins later knock on door was a friend of My exs offering Nana a tenner to look after My Boys another night.
Nana refused so I took boys with me thanked Their Nana for looking out for them and fully understood she didn't contact me as her Daughter told her not to.
My ex turned up think the weds for her boys as she put it then contact stops again as I was putting words in there heads blah blah then 2 week later it happens again disappears so I had boys for about 3 week b4 she turned up again by then the 2yr old wanted Daddy staying with Daddy it was heartbreaking that's when I thought I gotta go court got a contact order on 8th April 2009 after mediation where I had this woman who lets be honest only new me ten mins judging me now I don't profess to be an angel far from it but don't question me as a Father I thought coz it about the only thing I am half decent at she was lobbing accusations about me with no substance or proof or anything to back these up yet I was frowned upon that hurt I was like how dare you judge me this was b4 cafcass who ain't much better in my opinion I will attach order.
This order was without warning as it was pre that change I will get to that shortly .
Forward to sep 2013 by now I have a new partner Boys like her she likes Boys her kids like my kids etc then boom she starts again this time coincides with a new Man in her life who I known 20 odd yr not as friends but know him so from sep 13 till Jan 06 14 when I got back in court as I had to give her warning I was taking her court etc I didnt see my Boys only the 10year old as he plays football and I never missed a game he played only bit of contAct I had but he was uneasy anyway back to court and cafcass I said look how many times do I need to mediate she broke the order simple so I mediate I woulda done anything knowing I would be holding my Boys that night.
I get the same old judgement look well I had enough I thought f*** you pardon my French I wouldn't entertain them cafcass said well it's us that advice the Judge Mr B and I said do what you gotta do I take my chances in the courtroom I had nothing to hide and nothing to prove Judge grants same order in place do you both agree yes we say.
No punishment for breaking order didn't pirsue it.
Forward mid Feb beg March 2015 all contact stopped again, the 13 year old has been so disrespectful towards me broke my heart I know it not his words mother saying they all hate me want nothing to do with me I don't care about them now bear in mind for last 2/3 yr I have boys all weekend fri 4 till sun 7pm sometimes till Mon and drop em at school love it all school holidays when mum working school ring me if anyone I'll i go get them all can put it down to is me and my partner of 5 yr now are getting married got a new building house ready in 4 week and we relocating only 4 mile away we have transport etc a friend says maybe she jealous of our situation who knows so I'm here again got the c79 here advice please.
Sorry for the rant thanks in advance.
Hi there and welcome
You've probably noticed that I have removed the attachments and the childrens, yours, their mothers and their grandmothers names. As you are pursuing an enforcement order you really need to remain anonymous and giving out that kind of information can get you into trouble with the court. The Order that you attached is a confidential document and you would also get into trouble for showing that too. It has happened to members in the past that have been traced through the information contained in their posts....you can't be too careful.
Your 13 year old doesn't mean those words and I'm sure he doesn't realise how hurtful they are.
You don't need to attend mediation when you are applying for enforcement of an order. It might be helpful to attach a brief position statement to the application form explaining what has happened so that the judge has the relevant information to hand. Keep it brief and child focused and refrain from any bad mouthing of the mother, just present the facts and your concerns/worries for the children. You can mention that contact has been stopped suddenly and without reason on several occasions and that your eldest child seems to be struggling at the moment so it's important that you get contact resumed as soon as possible.
If you have any specific questions it would be better to post them in the Legal Eagle section as that is by far the busiest section on the forum.
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