[Solved] Contact Centre Help

Hi there, I'll be able to provide a couple of answers at least.

The courts don't have to enforce the contact centre. Anyone can do a self-referral to contact centres - I self referred a few years ago when I needed a place to see my child in. We're not there anymore. All you need to do I say call them up and tell them the situation and they'll usually invite the primary parent or guardian to visit with the kid/s before the first contact there, just so the kid/s can get a feel for the place.

Contact centres are free to use (at least that's the case in Northern Ireland) I can't imagine any contact centre charging for their use. They're would be volunteers present who run them who usually cook up some light snacks and drinks for the kids like pizza or pancakes. Of course, if you're using it simply as a drop off/pick up point, there's no problem with that either.

Hope that helps.

Hi there

It's a difficult situation and a grey area really. As a third party was mentioned in the order, was it discussed at the final hearing?

There's no general rule for this, we have members that have to do all the pick ups and drop offs, members that meet half way and some that use a contact centre.

If using a contact centre means that the schedule can't be adhered to, then it's either accept it or return to court to get a defined solution. Contact centres in England charge as far as I'm aware, you can self refer and I would think that most would be open at weekends as thats usually the only time parents are free from work commitments. It's hoped that the cost can be shared, but how you would negotiate that with a parent that is hostile is another matter. Here's a link to the national association of contact centres website, but if you do a search you may find others that are privately run. Your local council should have knowledge of centres that aren't a part of the national association...some churches do run them.

www.naccc.org.uk

The other option is to write to the judge that made the order and explain the difficulties that have surfaced due to the lack of definition and ask respectfully if your case could be returned to further define arrangements. State that the mother is unreasonable and hostile and wants to change the terms of the order already, and reduce the contact schedule. As the case is still really fresh, the judge has the discretion to bring it back. If the judge won't help with this, they will probably advise making a fresh application to vary the existing order.

If your order doesn't define holidays you can address this at the same time, to try and avoid further interference from the mother.

All the best

Thank you both for your responses. I have tried calling the contact centre helpline but it's now not open until after the holidays so will try again then.

Unfortunately there was lots that was left out of the final schedule so it's open to misinterpretation unfortunately and yes we have already contacted the courts to ask for some clearer guidelines to follow.

If she goes down the contact centre route just to try and reduce the amount of time he sees the children then I think he will definitely go back to court to ask for an amendment.

It's ludicrous really as it's the main reason he went to court initially to get things more defined and everything is left so vague on the schedule. The least amount of communication his ex and him have the better really but the way it's written means they have to communicate loads and this ends up in arguments again.

Have you got a third party that you can rely on...I always think its a lot to ask of someone to facilitate this, especially for an indefinite period.

If you want to take it back to court as a variation and its after the 4 month cut off, you will have to attend mediation to get the C100 form signed off again.

Best of luck

Luckily it's only required during school holidays because when they are back at school he collects directly from there. hopefully won't be to hard to have the third party just in the holidays as long as his ex agrees to him having the children for a few days at a time for less handovers etc.

I didn't know there was a 4 month cut off to do the variation if it's needed so will look into this as mediation hasn't worked in the past and is just another added cost.

Thanks again

....the variation can be applied for at any time, there's a time limit as far as the mediation is concerned. If it's over 4 months since the last mediation it will have to be attempted again, before another application can be made.

Hello Stacey 1981,

It was stipulated by the Judge in my Son's Court Order that pick ups were to be made halfway between my Son's home and that of his Ex.

We were hoping his court order worded it a bit like that too MotherofaFather but unfortunately the entire document is so vague and other than stipulating the every other weekend and one overnight in the week and the use of a third party it pretty much mentions nothing else !

We have written straight back to the judge upon receiving the document to ask for it to be a little more detailed so hopefully we might get a response soon. If not I think he will have to go straight back for a variation.

Hello Stacey1981,

My Son's Ex was totally "off the scale" and displayed behaviour typical of having a narcissistic personality. Fortunately the Judge was very shrewd and could see what the true situation was. The Court Order was very detailed, times, dates and place of pickups, specific dates for holidays, even stating that if the child was ill he was still to go to his Father's.

Think of as much detail as you can to try to avoid her being able to wriggle out of anything but be fair and reasonable in your request (which I'm sure you will be).

Yes we have asked for it to be more detailed so just hope they do change it to be just that. his ex is off the scale too. Unfortunately after being granted 50/50 care at the hearing before the last one in December they changed there minds after she filed a series of unfair and callous allegations about him and her older daughter from a previous relationship. Although the judges said that they disregarded the allegations after getting CAFCASS back involved, we feel that they have considered what she said and that's why he only then got every other weekend and a night in the week.

Hi

I think you need to write back to the court asap as they are more likely to help. You don't need to use a contact centre for handovers unless the order makes mention of this.

If you leave it and things get worse, you will either have to submit a new C100 for variation (which will require another attempt at mediation if it was signed more than 4 months ago) or if she breaches, you will have to submit a C79 to enforce the order and hope the judge will vary it at the same time to tighten things up.