Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hello all. I had my first session at a contact centre on the weekend. It was great to see my two little girls again, but two hours just doesn't cut it for me and I feel really upset when i have to leave them. But only three more visits until the final hearing!!!
Anyway, does anyone have any experience in terms of what notes they take down during these sessions? will they only write anything they think was concerning? Will they or should they not that my eldest daughter said many times "I miss you daddy" and "I love you daddy" will they or should they include the nice things? The thing is, I could not work out if the lady supervising us was taking notes or just playing on her phone. I didn't want to risk having anything negative written about me, so I didn't want to ask if she was actually listening or paying attention. I just played and laughed with my two girls for two hours.
Another thing that raised concerns, is both times I have seen my girls, my eldest tells me about mummys new best friend "Nathan" (the guy i assumed she was having an affair with) She called me Nathan three times during the session, she also said they all went on holiday together. Now CAFCASS informed me that she is still very much single and is "frightened" of men now. But she is clearly in a new relationship, is this something I should share with CAFCASS?
I think they won't write detailed notes of everything that goes on unless it's particularly noteworthy, but will report on how well contact went. I'm in two minds over whether you should mention that you are being called Nathan, perhaps a side comment after the contact session.
Glad it went well though - contact centres are a lot better than people realise.
Thanks. I was a little concerned after reading some reviews, people suggesting they treat you badly and look down on you etc. I am going to assume they were some angry dads without manners? But the staff were really friendly and welcoming and did not really intrude on my time with the children. they sat in the corner quietly, the kids hardly noticed her.
Hi Ferfer
I would hold on the fact that you had a lovely time with your children at that contact centre it sounds like it went very well.
I wouldn't worry to much about the report writing normally it's just things about whether you attended and how you interacted with your children they write about but from what you have said doesn't seem like there are any issues which is very positive.
I don't think they are going to be to bothered about mummy's boyfriend I'm guessing you may have concerns about him with the children which is understandable but generally they tend to not involved unless something bad happens, if you keep bringing him up they might just think your jealous which won't make you look good maybe just mentioned your solicitor if you have one
Thanks. I did mention it to my solicitor. It does not bother me one bit she is with someone else, I dont care at all. It is the fact that due to all the horrific abuse she received (none of which is true by the way) it is written in the CAFCASS report that she is so traumatised by this all, she no longer trusts men and is not seeking a relationship. She said men scare her now and she no longer trusts them.
I am stuck though as i have been informed that the lady assigned to our case has left CAFCASS and she was told to attend the final hearing. CAFCASS do not know who is taking over our case and what is going to happen. So i am not sure if I will have to be interviewed again or not?
Hi
Glad that your sessions have gone well. Contact centres generally are fine, it's just extreme cases you read about.
Speak to your solicitor about the change o Cafcass officer - the court may issue new directions about the final hearing.
Notes are usually quite general. If the notes mention the other guy's name, it might be that your solicitor can mention these during cross examination if it takes place.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.