[Solved] Contact

Have you tried mediation? I think this would be the first place to start - www.nfm.org.uk

Is there a contact or child arrangement order in place at the moment, or is it an informal agreement?

Sorry mate it's my current partner that wants me to take the youngest as well as she is our daughter. The youngest lives with me and my partner. The 2 older kids are mine and my exes and I see them on the days stated. No formal agreement of contact just what me and the ex have agreed. I feel the Saturday is my day with the older 2 as I don't see them every day. No one in my family has been in this situation before so don't really have anyone to ask. Am I right for wanting that to be my day with them or should I be spending that day with all 3. The Sunday would be a day for all of us.

Hi ColinRand93.

In my personal opinion I would say speak to your current partner about why you feel you'd prefer the Saturday alone with your eldest two if you haven't already.

You mention about Sundays being a day for all of you, so I'm assuming that your eldest and youngest do get to spend time together so have built up a bond on that day already. How does your ex feel about the youngest coming along too? If you have a mutual agreement that's not through a court, you definitely don't want to disrupt that and upset the ex if she also doesn't want your youngest coming along.

I know I hated it when my son would spend time with his dad (my ex) and his other step children that he lived with because I felt he needed to have one on one time with his dad. They had a few children between them and his reason for never taking my son anywhere was no room in the car. I used to say well why don't you walk to the park then or maybe leave the others that you see on a daily basis at home and just take our son, but that never happened.

I think you just need to outline to your current partner why you feel the way you do and as long as they do all get to spend some time together then I think it's a fair decision. Your new partner just may well want a Saturday to herself occasionally.

Perhaps a compromise would be to suggest that you have your two older children exclusively every other weekend and you could also suggest alternating your exclusive time with the older children, a Saturday one week and Sunday the next.

I don't feel it unreasonable to want to spend time with your two other children, I think you do need to talk about it with your partner, ask her how she would feel if it was your youngest child, would she not want him/her to have some one to one with you if you weren't around all the time.

Best of luck