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I've been reading through the current guidelines but I am still a bit unsure about what is and what isn't allowed.
Basically, I have included my mum in my support bubble (when my daughter isn't present). My ex has included her mum in her support bubble, which for her includes having my daughter to stay for the night.
Am I then allowed to take my daughter to stay at my mum's for a few days? She lives 1.5 hours away which has made it tricky to get down given the guidelines. She is now allowed to come into my home, but as far as I know still can't see my daughter (travelling that far, it's not like we can do a meet up in the garden, for instance, as it could rain, or my mum might need the loo, etc, and it's not like she can just pop home again).
My dad works locally so it's easier for him to quickly whizz over after work, before going home, and meet us in the park, but I am wondering the same for him - whether me and my daughter can stay at his?
My ex isn't the type to be reasonable or understanding, so unless it is permitted by law, there's no way she will let my daughter go away with me. Does anyone know more?
hi,
to avoid confusion and make things easier, its better for child to move just between one parents house to the other parents house. that way we are sticking to guidelines and it does not give your ex a reason to give you a headache.
I feel the same as Bill said. For now, just have the time spent at yours which is allowed. It was clear a couple of months ago children can move between parents homes, this has always been the case. Just stick with that for now so you continue contact.
Yeah, that was the plan, but my ex just decided by herself that she would start sending my daughter to her mum's. I think I am going to have a hard battle trying to stop that, unless it's actually going against the guidelines. It seems to be a bit of a grey area. Frustrating as she is seemingly allowed to do that but I'm not sure I could do the same. I'm just really starting to feel my mum and her side of the family as they haven't been able to see Emmy since lockdown started, where as due to work and people living closer by, my dad, his partner, and my sister have, albeit in the park for an hour or so.
you could all plan a big day out and meet outside. like going for a picnic, or to the seaside etc.
Unless you have 50:50 access or joint residency why would you want to stop her going to exs mums even if not within guidelines? If you have 50:50 then you have more of a say if not then your ex pretty much can decide what to do including whether child goes against guidelines..
I know that you want to make sure your child is safe but it's a losing battle especially when the guidelines are not 100% clear and always changing due to the fluid nature of the pandemic. As others have said, stick to having her at yours and maybe plan a day out on a sunny day so that everyone can see her outdoors..
Or whilst your ex isn't reasonable or understanding maybe without indicating any issue with the guidelines ask your ex whether you can take child to visit your mum and see what she says. She may look at guidelines equally confused and say that it appears ok.. (long shot I know)...
Its frustrating but be positive...
Good luck..
I don't want to stop my daughter from seeing her Granny on her mum's side. They are all being pretty safe so I'm not concerned there. It's just the frustration that she can call the shots and choose whose home our daughter goes into and my parents are losing out.
It's tricky with my mum as she has to drive 1.5 hours down and then 1.5 hours back again, and I can't drive so I can't meet her halfway for example or out somewhere. I have a health condition so I can't walk far either. So as we can't get in a car with her, we are limited to the back garden and the park across the road, but like I said it's relying on the weather being good, because if it starts to rain and she has to travel all the way home again, it's not going to be so fun, and we do live in the UK...
I might run it past my ex to take our daughter up to my mum's to stay and just see what happens.
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