Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi there just looking for some advice here, I just went to see my kids as I always do but when I got there my exs new bf came out and told me to take my kids for something to eat unfortunately I was working and had to rush home get changed so as not to be late and put up with all the [censored] dad comments, but any way I left my bank card in my work clothes! I told her new bf that the kids where mine and my exs problem not his which made him react by saying I do have a say in your kids life! P.s my kids live 25miles away!
Anyway I just got a text to say they are now going to csa even though I have been paying my ex direct into her bank for the last two years, with an amount we both agreed on, I have never missed a payment! Can she do this just to get more money it seems unfair I pay I take my kids when I supposed to I never let them down! I have my divorce writ which states that the stuff with kids have been agreed etc I am so worried as I already struggle as it is all I do is work and nothing else and see my kids!
I would appreciate some help but they basically saying because they gave me no notice to take them for food and I didn't have my card they are going to csa, they are making me suicidal or I am getting that way!
Thanks!
I have found out yes she can just go to cms and get the money put up just like that so I have been blackmailed now into raising it further to avoid dealing with them, it was her who arranged the amount two years a go and never missed a payment, looks like I need to just keep the constant working going then for rest of my life! All because I wouldn't pay for divorce so that my ex can marry her partner who during our marriage never payed any maintenance! She totally struggling and away to black pool next week and I have 2.20 to do me till 21st!
Her partner who wants to marry her gets 25000 a year she at college and gets everything paid for her, what is wrong with this country if there is no overtime available at my work one month I will not be able to live or see my kids as I need to pay my c/t or wage arrestment, rent or homeless, maintenance or cms will destroy me further! And then if I cant see kids then due to finance I get called a [censored] dad while they have two cars and he has a council house and her (both there rents put together my rent and council tax) obtained with back hand dealings so she can claim single parent when he there nearly every night! But hey I increased what I pay anyway even though I thought that being a good dad and never missing a payment would mean something to this government but no its as if they want me to go on dole! p.s what gets me most is my exs partner can spend money on my son and daughter all the time as they have disposable income while I cant and she knows it as she wants her fairy tale [censored] life where you want a divorce but the defendant has to pay : ) p.s she also told me my kids maintenance is all going towards the divorce at moment but suppose cms would just say its ok!
Hi
Have you checked the calculator to see what the correct level of payment is - and are you paying more or less than this at the moment? If it's more, then let her go through the CMS - it will cost her £20 for the application, and as long as you don't fall into arrears, then it won't cost you any more, and you still pay her directly.
Hi
As actd says you can use the simple CSA Calculator tool (google CSA Calculator, available at https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance).
Very simple to work out roughly how much the CSA (now the Child Maintenance Service), you may find you are paying too much.
I have recently been told that those making CSA type payments may be able to claim for mileage when accessing their children if the other party does not meet them halway, not entirely sure about this - just going to pose the question on Forum.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.