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Hi,
I’ve posted a few times before about ongoing battle with my ex and her refusal to let me see the kids whenever we have an argument. She’s not happy I’ve moved on (after over 2 years of being separated) she’s not happy the kids like my new partner and have asked for her on numerous occasions to be at the house so they can play together, asking for her to come on days out etc.
Couple weeks ago she come to the house Saturday morning still drunk from night previous saying she wanted the kids and was taking them home and I wasn’t going to see them again until I got an agreement. All this was because I asked her to have them for 1 weekend so I could go to a friends wedding in another country. She told the kids I didn’t love them I didn’t want them with me on weekends, that I care more about my new partner than I do them. I’m sure you get the picture.
After that, I want and need something in writing stating everything to do with the kids and our agreement.
Money currently is tough for me, so I done a bit of searching and found a template for child arrangement agreement and filled out all the details for all the different sections. I asked her for an email address so I could email over so she could take a look and get back with any changes she wasn’t happy with and we could come to an agreement.
She refused to give me an email address and then said we don’t need and agreement we can work it between us. Except we can’t because I know what she done couple weeks ago Will happen again. Whenever she gets into an argument with me she using them against me.
Then when I persisted with getting an agreement done and in place she said she will not look at anything and will just make us go to mediation and laughing that I will have to pay for it all as she doesn’t work.
Is there anything I can do with this agreement without going down the legal route?
And what difference does it make if we work it together and both sign agreement, or if we do it through a solicitor ? What benefits would I get out having a solicitor sort this for me? Any difference in legality of it?
Sorry I know it’s a long post but I need this sorting.
Thanks for any reply.
Unfortunately any agreement that you or a solicitor draw up isn’t legally binding, the only way to have a legally binding agreement is with a court order.
As far as mediation is concerned, if your ex isn’t working she will be entitled to legal aid to cover the cost of mediation, you would be also be entitled to the first session free, this is called a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting).
I’ve read through your previous posts, it seems to me that your situation isn’t likely to improve if it’s just left, she will continue to try and control you and use the children Against you... at some point you’re going to have to take the next step if you want to change yours and your children’s situation.
All the best
hi, this is not a nice situation to be in. court papers were filed within 3 months of my break-up with ex. the trouble started very early and i wasnt prepared to experience more nonsense and grief.
its up to you. seems like she is just jealous of your ex and will continue to mess around with you, as long as there is no legal agreement in place. you can speak to this charity -
they can sit with you and fill in the child arrangement application form, so you dont end up spending lot of money to get solicitors to do it. but you will have to spend £215 to submit it to courts. if you have some money to stand 2-3 rounds of court hearings, you should consider it. probably looking at £600-1000 per hearing if you want a barrister to represent you. your ex has already made a joke of going to mediation, so thats one thing you wont have to waste time and money on 🙂
Contrary to Bills last sentence, you will have to attempt mediation first, hopefully it won’t be a waste of time, but it’s mandatory... you will need the mediator to sign the court application form, before you can submit it to court.
yes correct. I attended MIAM assessment on my own for about £90. short video call. it was straightforward for me as ex cut all contact and didnt want to speak to me. so mediator just said he's heard enough, and signing me off so i can make court application.
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