[Solved] Changing Contact

hi toks,

what are your arrangements like? i have 6 year old and 3 year old. i am about to apply to vary my order. would like fri-mon with school drop off on monday morning. its 30 min commute from home to their school. do you think i could get this? also thinking about asking for a mon-tue overnight the following week.

my 6 year old keeps complaining that her time with me is too short. even asks me to ring her mum to ask for more time.

thanks.

Hi Bill,
The arrangements I and my son have is that he's with me every other weekend Friday (from school) through to Monday morning, every Wednesday overnight term time, and half of each and every school holiday. The added beauty of this set-up is I only have to have direct contact with his mother during the school holidays, which has done wonders for my mental health.

I'd advise getting exact timings of pick ups and drop offs during the holidays as well as clarity that holidays begin from the moment school closes, not the following morning or the following Monday (a lot of schools break up on a Friday but often list the first day of the holiday as the following Monday) as you'll be surprised how inventive some mothers can be on this point in order to ensure they get the bigger 'half'. Also, don't forget to factor in the inset (teacher training) days.

I had a good Judge - he listened to what I was asking for, said it all sounded perfectly reasonable, and then said it was up to the mother to convince him why this was not the case (she couldn't, though she tried very hard).

Ask for something slightly more than you'd expect to get so you can use and give up that bit when it comes to showing you're willing to compromise.

I hope it goes well.

hi Toks,

did your ex or court say something like the kids are being moved around too much, e.g. fri-mon then wed-thur? have feeling ex would play this card in court.

thanks.

Son's mother thought this arrangement 'too complicated and difficult to follow', but the court didn't. It's a very clear and simple routine. My son knows he's with me every other weekend and every Wednesday, overnight. I no longer have to go cap in hand for 'permission' to see him more than one day a week - which sometimes shifted around depending on her whims, and we can all make plans around the defined shared time accordingly.

thank for advice. last time cafcass didnt recommend mid week overnights. maybe because one of my kids was 2, and they listened to too much garbage from ex.