[Solved] CAFCASS - doing it the right way

I couldn't agree more. I too had an interview and at the FHDRA I received a "cafcass letter to the court" which they didn't want to give me. The judge told them where to shove it and if I was going to be accused of anything then they should have the decency to let me know what I'm being accused of.
I got home and compared the notes I'd made of the interview with the "letter". It was utterly devoid of most of the issues I'd raised. I sent them an email highlighting their mistakes and omissions but received a response saying, basically, that they couldn't include absolutely everything we spoke about (she'd also said this in the interview) and to not send them any more lengthy emails. That told me!
In the letter, they also made suggestions about my how they think my future behaviour should be. I was utterly disgusted - cafcass need to remember that during a first interview, accusations are just that - accusations. They are not facts until they are proven. This is what I believe a fact finding hearing is for.

I second you - cafcass are NOT the law. The judge I had put the cafcass officer in her place and I'm relieved that he did. It gave me confidence that despite what cafcass say, there is a higher authority. And in this case he seemed to be prepared to stand up and say what he thought.

I will also second you that you need to remain level headed and not to let them rile you. That won't get you anywhere. Ultimately our lives and our children's lives are partially in these peoples hands. Total strangers who only get a small window into what your lives together were like. Often a biased account from the mother can sway them and the system already seems biased enough about fathers. Not all fathers are bad - whilst I have my faults, I have always loved my children and done my best to care for them, love them, teach them and protect them. I think that's my job - if I can't do it then who will?

If any fathers disagree with the findings of cafcass, send them a polite email addressing the concerns, ask for them to contact you and for the issues to be addressed in court. Be aware that getting their goat up may not help your case in the long run and don't burn bridges or make enemies. But defend your right to be a father and don't allow these people to rule your lives or your futures. Your future with your children may depend on how you handle them.

An honest and Frank account which seems to echo the same theme.. CAFCASS seem to have a habit of putting the father on the back foot. I find this the most frustrating because it seems that a father first must prove he is not what he is being accused of before he can get on with the job of proving he's a good father. How often a mother is ever challenged to do the same thing would be an interesting topic for research and debate. Even in a criminal court you are innocent until proven guilty and this is even in the presence of evidence. Mothers, CAFCASS.. seem to have the ability to put a father on trial in the absence of evidence and force you to prove your innocence. Does it never occur to these people that the mother at some point chose us as the father of their children.. at some point relied on us to provide.. to offer love and affection to our children and the only point at which that tone changes is when parents seperate.. a fleeting moment that seems to supercede the many years we were good fathers, good partners. The system is broken despite my outcome. I've had what I've had because the mother ultimately knew and conceded that what had been said about me and what I actually am are galaxies apart. Don't allow yourselves to be put in the dock by people that don't know you or the moments you've had with your children. Put them on trial and politely and intelligently ask them to account for their actions and accusations! I've said this before and I'll say it again, they are not the law. A good judge will see past the smoke screen and good willing, will allow your children to benefit from your inclusion in their lives.

Sometimes I wonder what goes on in the minds of the people who work in this industry. 90% of the people I've spoken to - mediation, family rights group, FASA, cafcass, etc are women. Are they simply naturally biased and anyone who stands against this bias is frowned upon?
Also there's the political agenda to take into account. The government are saving fortunes because legal aid has pretty much stopped. Especially for fathers who are usually seen to be the antagonists in relationships. Benefits go to only one parent (the resident parent, which is usually the mother). Housing goes to the resident parent, usually the mother. Fathers (historically, and possibly still true today) are the main breadwinners and are usually the ones that end up financing / supporting their children, giving mothers an easy ride. I've seen countless posts on here by fathers who have lost their homes and are renting while the mother and children are living in their mortgaged home, fathers who have spent tens of thousands of pounds in solicitors fees just so that they can give their children what should be a natural right, a father in their lives. Fathers who have had their lives torn apart and are trying to come to terms with the depression and anxiety.
From what I've read, a third of all children in the uk are without fathers! A third!!!
So are cafcass simply supporting a political agenda that is biased towards mothers? And the rest of the industry - solicitors, barristers etc. All making fortunes from the misfortune of others?
And if the system supports false accusations by never punishing those that make them, how long will it continue for? How long will children suffer because nothing is done and the accusers get away with murder, or accusations of it. There is nothing to stop them and only in extreme circumstances is anything done.

Sure, there are bad fathers. Fathers who are violent, get drunk, do drugs, and all the rest of it. But that opens up the potential for lies against good fathers who do care for their children.

The whole system, the whole industry, the whole political agenda needs to change. There are too many people getting rich from this - fathers are in the minority because the only people who want change are fathers. Mothers are raking in benefits, housing, maintenance. The government are saving fortunes.

I'm sick of it. I'm sick of defending myself against lies. I'm sick of fighting to be a dad to my kids against a system that automatically deems me to be guilty until I can prove myself innocent. I'm sick of trying to find answers to a myriad of legal questions and problems that I haven't got a clue about. I'm sick of the depression and the anxiety. I'm sick of waiting whilst the legal system plods away at tortoise pace, often weeks or months in between hearings.

All I can do is carry on, hoping that someone will listen to my side of the story. Hoping that one day my children will have a father. That I will have my children back.

CAFCASS have a hard job. Regardless of what they do, one of the parties is always going to be unhappy. A simple search for cafcass on mumsnet will yield result after result of mother's saying that they are biased in favour of fathers :S

While there are good reasons to complain about different parts of "the system", that by itself doesn't make anything better. We need solutions. The other post suggesting that CAFCASS interviews are recorded and made available to the parties seems like a positive one to me.

It's not easy, but we have to stay strong, physically and emotionally.

wanna know whats frustraing? i had a phone conversation with my ex after i found out she been out with another man and she said she will never stop me seeing my son

she then phoned the police that night and got a non molestation order and i havnt seen him for 10 weeks

i have the call recorded but noone wants to listen because then i could prove she is lieing to get legal aid 🙂

got my FHDRA tomorrow, no safeguarding concerns from cafcass but they want a section 7 report!!

i live with my 3 other children full time and had social services here back in april with no concerns but yet my ex saying im a danger to my 4th? ffs