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Have the court called you to make a payment for the order you submitted? When they do, they can give you an idea when the first hearing will be.
With regards to the call with cafcass, just remain child focused and as hard as it may seem, do not slag your ex off. If they bring up any allegations, just deny them. Depending on how that goes, they could look at doing a section 7 report where you have a face to face discussion and full police checks etc. At the first hearing, you can always ask if you can have some form of supervised contact in the interim so you still get to see your kid until it is all sorted and a better arrangement is in place.
Do not show up at his football, this will cause issues and will be seen as a breach of the non-mol if your ex is there. Unfortunately, you just have to sit it out and it can be a lengthy process. It will be hard, many of us have gone through it but just remain calm and it will eventually sort itself out.
I left the home i was in with ex and kids at the end of May. I applied for mediation within a few days this was rejected. I then did the C100 online and paid for it 7 weeks ago. I have had emails off Cafcas and a letter to say i am having a telephone call in a few days time with them.
The ex has made up a load of stories about how im stalking her. None of this is true. She has said i have mentally worn her down over the last few years. No allegations of any violence. She has said i say things in front of kids etc like swearing. Its crazy. I have no police records, never been in any trouble in my life. I am a good dad and i just want to see my sons asap. Happy for them to do a section 7 as i say nothing to hide.
Is it common to get a arrangement off the court at the first hearing or will the lies to them make it so i can't see the kids until proven to be false. I thought CAFCAS did all these checks behind the scenes so the court will know i have no records.
Anyone can say anything about someone so it can't stand up. The abuse she says she has received is mental no physical.
Thanks for the continued advice
Hi
CAFCASS do the background checks (police etc) but the court/judge deals with the allegations and what's true/false. Just because you have nothing on police record doesn't mean the allegations are false and therefore this is what thr Court will want to look into.. CAFCASS of course will ask/question around this too to establish risk etc and provide some direction to the court but ultimately its down to the judge..
Thank you, i presume they must deal with this all the time. I could make up all kinds about her. I feel like doing because it is all one way traffic. I am the bigger person so i am taking deep breathes but it isn't easy and all stacked in the favour of the woman. Even more unfair that im paying a fortune through CMS and still can't see them.
Its very easy to see how Dads lose the plot with it all because there just doesn't seem any light anytime soon at the end of this tunnel
It's important to focus on your own well being to ensure that we don't lose the plot which as you say is easy to do so..
When dealing with CAFCASS the most important thing is to remain child focused and not slate the ex as then you will be deemed to be in conflict with the ex which will influence their recommendations re child contact (often negatively)..
Whilst not fair, it's fine for the ex to say what she wants about you as she has custody of the kids whereas you are trying to get contact and so need to get CAFCASS onside..
All the best..
It's important to focus on your own well being to ensure that we don't lose the plot which as you say is easy to do so..
When dealing with CAFCASS the most important thing is to remain child focused and not slate the ex as then you will be deemed to be in conflict with the ex which will influence their recommendations re child contact (often negatively)..
Whilst not fair, it's fine for the ex to say what she wants about you as she has custody of the kids whereas you are trying to get contact and so need to get CAFCASS onside..
All the best..
Thank you, the people on here have really helped. I would like to say a big thank you for continued support.
@obsession1 As everyone has said keep your head clear, use your friends be careful of the great un-known CAFCASS they act like snakes read the written report from your phone call because they say one thing and do another, depending on the Judge on the day which from the very start of your back is against the wall yes you will feel like a criminal but keep your head up don't bite as it will be noted against this will be damage limation unless you're able to pull off a miracle that others before you failed as for me as one.
You have time on your side Rome was not built in a day you will feel that everyone is against you the rule.
lose your temper, keep your head up listen and think before answering, if you're in council listen to the advice because it's usually good but your need all the luck in the world.
Are you planning on contesting the non-mol? You will have your opportunity to discuss your side of things in those hearings, it will also be down to your ex to show her evidence of the allegations.
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