CAFCAS call/Process from here help please?

Hi,

ever since covid started, court hearing dates are more delayed. Have you received any court papers in the post? You could Ask Cafcass have they heard anything about a date for 1st hearing. Can also email or phone court. Chances are at the 1st hearing they will not allow contact if your ex is against it and has made allegations. I was in court shortly before covid kicked in, and whole process lasted 5-6 months.

Hi, no court papers, i have been to court for a non mol order. (all lies) which i am going back for late August. What i am trying to find out is what happens at the first hearing? do they then look into all the lies? and it drags on and on. It says CAFCAS do all the checks before court and i have no records ever a full DBS certificate etc etc. So it will be her say. Will it then drag out for weeks and weeks will the court let me see my son in between? thanks for advice

Hi

How old is son? Depending on age, do you have any mutual (or yours) friends/family who would be willing to facilitate contact and supervise it? Or consider indirect contact via video calls? 

@Daddyup

Hi, yes i do grandparents. The whole thing is a farce. I leave the home. She keeps the kids, i can't see them! it is a very very cruel system. With no idea when i am likely to see him either. Treated like a criminal when never put a foot wrong. I suppose what i am reaching out for is some sort of timescale and process of what is likely to happen along the line. What if i turn up to watch him play football for example? how would this look?

Hi

If there is an interim non mol then don't turn up to football.

As Bill says the timescales can vary, also if allegations of domestic violence are found against you then depending how serious they are you may need to build up contact via a contact centre or worse do a domestic violence course which can take 6 months to complete...

If the non mol has wording that allows contact via third parties for the purposes of child contact then grand parents could facilitate to at least get you seeing child in the meantime..

What are the allegations? Does she have any evidence/witnesses? Are you self representing? 

Have the court called you to make a payment for the order you submitted? When they do, they can give you an idea when the first hearing will be.

With regards to the call with cafcass, just remain child focused and as hard as it may seem, do not slag your ex off. If they bring up any allegations, just deny them. Depending on how that goes, they could look at doing a section 7 report where you have a face to face discussion and full police checks etc. At the first hearing, you can always ask if you can have some form of supervised contact in the interim so you still get to see your kid until it is all sorted and a better arrangement is in place.

Do not show up at his football, this will cause issues and will be seen as a breach of the non-mol if your ex is there. Unfortunately, you just have to sit it out and it can be a lengthy process. It will be hard, many of us have gone through it but just remain calm and it will eventually sort itself out. 

I left the home i was in with ex and kids at the end of May. I applied for mediation within a few days this was rejected. I then did the C100 online and paid for it 7 weeks ago. I have had emails off Cafcas and a letter to say i am having a telephone call in a few days time with them. 

The ex has made up a load of stories about how im stalking her. None of this is true. She has said i have mentally worn her down over the last few years. No allegations of any violence. She has said i say things in front of kids etc like swearing. Its crazy. I have no police records, never been in any trouble in my life. I am a good dad and i just want to see my sons asap. Happy for them to do a section 7 as i say nothing to hide. 

Is it common to get a arrangement off the court at the first hearing or will the lies to them make it so i can't see the kids until proven to be false. I thought CAFCAS did all these checks behind the scenes so the court will know i have no records. 

Anyone can say anything about someone so it can't stand up. The abuse she says she has received is mental no physical. 

Thanks for the continued advice

Posted by: @Daddyup

Hi

If there is an interim non mol then don't turn up to football.

As Bill says the timescales can vary, also if allegations of domestic violence are found against you then depending how serious they are you may need to build up contact via a contact centre or worse do a domestic violence course which can take 6 months to complete...

If the non mol has wording that allows contact via third parties for the purposes of child contact then grand parents could facilitate to at least get you seeing child in the meantime..

 

What are the allegations? Does she have any evidence/witnesses? Are you self representing? 

No evidence only texts that are arguments. No witnesses. Yes i am self representing i refuse to pay for a solicitor to run up debt and get nowhere. I will sort it to the end myself. 

Hi

CAFCASS do the background checks (police etc) but the court/judge deals with the allegations and what's true/false. Just because you have nothing on police record doesn't mean the allegations are false and therefore this is what thr Court will want to look into.. CAFCASS of course will ask/question around this too to establish risk etc and provide some direction to the court but ultimately its down to the judge.. 

@Daddyup

Thank you, i presume they must deal with this all the time. I could make up all kinds about her. I feel like doing because it is all one way traffic. I am the bigger person so i am taking deep breathes but it isn't easy and all stacked in the favour of the woman. Even more unfair that im paying a fortune through CMS and still can't see them. 

Its very easy to see how Dads lose the plot with it all because there just doesn't seem any light anytime soon at the end of this tunnel

It's important to focus on your own well being to ensure that we don't lose the plot which as you say is easy to do so.. 

When dealing with CAFCASS the most important thing is to remain child focused and not slate the ex as then you will be deemed to be in conflict with the ex which will influence their recommendations re child contact (often negatively).. 

Whilst not fair, it's fine for the ex to say what she wants about you as she has custody of the kids whereas you are trying to get contact and so need to get CAFCASS onside..

All the best..