Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi,
So.....just been informed by the ex that she is moving away with our kids. Still in England, but it's a round trip of 12 hours by car (probably longer, taking into account local traffic etc). we've been divorced for 5 years, and have 2 kids, currently aged 7 and 10. I see them every other weekend, and get to take them on holiday 2 weeks a year which is great. She says I can still see them fortnightly, and will meet me half way. Which is all very well in theory, but in practise, the kids (who probably don't currently appreciate the logistics of the situation) are not going to want to spend 12+ hours in a car once a fortnight! Any advice on what I should do? Does anyone think her behavoiur is reasonable? Any advice greatly appreciated!
Unreasonable is an understatement but unfortunately there is nothing you can do unless there are concerns over their wellbeing if they move away. If there are concerns then you can apply to the courts for a prohibited steps order but will need evidence to support your claims, you can also apply for a contact order to be written up especially if the mother is offering to do half the travelling so this in writing and cannot be denied at a later date, Good Luck
That's a massive round trip - I agree that it's not feasible on a 2 week basis (I used to do a 6 hour round trip every 2 weeks and that was certainly bad enough). It might be worthwhile drawing up a schedule of less frequent visits, but for longer, so more of the holidays, bank holidays, half terms etc so that a smaller proportion of your time is in the travelling, and it will also cut the cost of travelling for both you and your ex (so she might be more inclined to stick to it - I can see that fortnightly 6 hour round trips for her might start to change her mind after a while), and get skype set up etc.
It may also be worth you considering going to stay in a hotel or B&B where she is moving to sometimes and seeing them up there - again probably easier than the round trip.
Unreasonable is an understatement but unfortunately there is nothing you can do unless there are concerns over their wellbeing if they move away. If there are concerns then you can apply to the courts for a prohibited steps order but will need evidence to support your claims, you can also apply for a contact order to be written up especially if the mother is offering to do half the travelling so this in writing and cannot be denied at a later date, Good Luck
I agree with scottlloyd, you could apply to courts.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.