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Took the eldest to the cinema yesterday...... good to chat to him about what has been happening.
He really scared me since refusing to go and hear a storyteller a couple of weeks ago (youngest was delighted to go with me) and didn't seem really to have any reason. Short of dragging him out the house kicking and screaming there did not seem much I could do so I just took the youngest. He refused to see me again the following day and would not answer the phone all the following week. During the week I got a text from the ex asking if I was going to have a friend up the following weekend and when I confirmed this replied by saying he would not be coming........ quote does not like my friends. I cancelled the friend that was coming and confirmed I had done this and surprise the following weekend contact still did not happen. the eldest sat next to his mummy on the sofa looking like a frightened rabbit and burrowed down behind her when ever I tried to ask him something. His Mummy pointed out how unfair he was being as I had changed my plans to suit him but there was no chance of changing his mind so I just went with the youngest again. As nothing has happened on my watch to cause this reaction and his apparent dislike of my friends being relevant even when I am on my own I found this scary.
On the way back from the cinema yesterday I asked about this and he said he had not wanted me to know that he did not like two of my friends but Mummy had sent a text so I found out. Mummy has had a long term dislike of one of them even to the point of accusing me of having a gay relationship with him in front of the children. He enjoyed the film wants to see the next batman movie wiith me ( 'mummy will not take me to the cinema as she says I don't behave' ) and wants to spend time with me again.
Parental alienation could be on the horizon.................
I am about to submit forms (c100) to get a contact order and it is talking about a Cafcass parenting plan needing to be submitted.......... As Mediation parenting plan has not been adhered too and social services have tried to get her to cooperate with my contact arrangements (I always help her out with complications with hers) if I submit this information will the lack of a cafcass parenting plan be an obstacle to the application to the court. I can provide a copy of the mediation agreement and a statement minuted at the last conference about non compliance.
Hi there
His mother has probably projected her own dislike of your friends onto him....might it be possible to speak to her about keeping the children away from anything that adult orientated? At least you were able to nip it in the bud his time.
A parenting plan isn't mandatory, but you could complete one yourself and submit it with your application, perhaps send her a blank copy to give her the opportunity to fill It in too. Is she aware you are submitting an application to court?
As far as I'm aware the mediation agreement is confidential and can only be submitted to court if both parties agree to it being used. As far as the statement of the minutes of the last conference, I'm assuming that's a meeting held by Social Services? I think that would be ok to use, but I wouldn't send it in with your application, you will be given an opportunity to file any evidence you have at a later date. If you wish to give a brief summary of events to the court, you could prepare a position statement to take with you for the first hearing, if you do this you would also need to provide copies to the other party and CAFCASS, not forgetting to keep a copy for your own records.
She should be! It was stated as being the next course of action in the letter from the solicitor and though I was willing to accept her suggestions for weekend contact I am still not getting a midweek contact with either of the boys in spite of schools support (stated in the last meeting). I have not actually told her the timetable though.
Thanks for the point about the confidentiality of the mediation agreement I should have realised that issue myself....... I intent to go right through the forms again today and tomorrow and then when happy copy and send in the signed one from mediation close of play tomorrow.
She has a loose tongue when it comes to expressing her opinion of me to family and mutual friends irrespective of the presence of the children. She has been warned about this by the professionals round us but nothing really happens beyond tut tuting when it frequently happens....... I am sure if I did it I would get jumped on
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