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I am new father. Our baby is just over 3 weeks old. My partner is very tired at times which is understandable. We don't get as much sleep as we normally do and are still adapting. We've argued a few times which I knew would come after speaking to other couples. Yesterday we had an argument. My partner says that what I was saying is totally unreasonable for a breastfeeding mother.
I want my side of the family to see more of the baby. At the moment we live with her mother as we have just moved back up North from London to be closer to family. She is breastfeeding which tires her and causes pain and discomfort. Yesterday my partner was sleeping and I had to wake her to feed the baby. I wanted us to go see my sister as she has only seen my son once, for a brief moment. My partner was tired so I suggested that she sleep and I'll take him over to my sisters house for 1 hour at the most. She flew off the handle saying that I can't take him away from her not even for a minute!
What's annoyed me is that yesterday she took the baby away from myself so that she could go show him off to her mother's work colleagues, total strangers have seen my son for longer than my sister, his aunt.
The argument, well it's not really an argument just an ill feeling has flowed over into this morning, I refuse to make a cup of tea at the moment! I really cannot understand what the problem is with me taking the baby away, 20 minute drive for 1 hour whilst she slept? I understand that the baby could get hungry but my suggestion was that I take him immediately after he has fed, his feeding does have a pattern where is rests for easily up to 2 hours after each feed of course she argued that I'm breaking the special bond what if he became hungry?
Am I being out of order for suggesting that I take him away for a hour? That special bond doesn't seem to get broken at 4am when I'm dancing around the sofa for 4 hours whilst she sleeps. Help!
You could suggest a breast pump and refridgerate the milk. If you want to see your family with your baby you could then feed the baby yourself. Even buy a coolbox if necessary. It's the same milk and if your partner has an objection to powdered milk then baby won't be missing out on those natural ingredients. Is there any reason why she won't come with you to see your family?
Hi there
I don't think you're being unreasonable, but with a new baby rationale flies out the window I'm afraid. It's never a good idea to let an argument stew overnight and it would be best to try and get back to a normal footing, perhaps a chat over a cup of tea (that you've made!). Be conciliatory, show concern and suggest that you both go on a visit together, try and make a firm date for this. Give her plenty of reassurance that you understand she s getting used to being a mum... her hormones are still all over the place!
Perhaps you could suggest your family visit you, that way the baby's routine doesn't have to be disrupted.
All the best
Hi There,
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I agree with Mojo,
.
It's difficult when a new baby comes along, and your partners emotions will be all over the place, as said if your partner doesn't want to take your baby out, then invite them over to you, if your partner wants to sleep at that time then thats not an issue.
.
GTTS
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