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Hi there all.
Just wondering if anyone can shed any light on the below.
My partner and I have been clashing horns for years, mainly to do with some personal issue my OH has had. But it has led to lies, deceit and lack of trust.
We are unmarried and have 2 children. We are both on the rent and council tax, that's it. I pay for everything else, shopping, bills clothes holidays etc everything.
Recently we have come to an impass, I don't trust her anymore and gives me no reason to trust. She has been offered help and declined, we have been to relationship counciling etc to the point where they didn't want to see me any more just her. But she stopped going. I'm left to deal with the children, household and bills. Quite frankly I don't know where she spends her time.
She has now suggested we go down the legal route but I have said with everything she has done on the past they will look it to it.
I'm worried that being the Dad, even though I act more like the Dad and the Mum, they will still favour her.
Can anyone shed any light on where I stand pls
Sorry to hear your situation has got negative with your partner. First things first. When it comes to sitting down and splitting up or however you decide to tell her your parting make sure your phones on record. Lesson learnt as it law if a woman dials 999 you have to be taken into custody. This will then be used against you as being a threat. Secondly when it comes to kids if you move out you can have a arrangement on paper that you'll pay her x amount a month or week... (try your best for her not to go through the CMS as theyll hound you until kids are 20!) Im finding that now. If shes a [censored] she'll tell her solicitor your a mad axe man, you beat her up your violent drink allot blah blah blah which is usual behaviour for any woman nowdays so dont be suprised! If you go through the family court to get custody they will means test you CAFCASS all are on the mums side so dont trust them. Whatever you tell them they are on the kids mothers side. Its a long road brother once kids are involved i had to eventually walk away cos i couldnt take anymore [censored] from my [censored] and the system which backs the women standard.
Hi There,
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It sounds as though Bigcat has had a raw deal, but don't be scared off by that, although his case went the way it did, and for that matter so do other dad's cases, not all do, and if you are able to do things right and straight down the line from your side, in the majority of cases the judges now treat fathers with a lot more respect than they did, the judges are looking at what is best for the children and not what's best for mum and dad, that has been the biggest and best change in the way that the family courts are run in a very long time.
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You possibly will face an up hill battle that may take months or years to resolve, but my advice is do everything right and you should come out the other side in a good possition.
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Ensure if you are going to seperate that you document each conversation, you could record them if you wanted, so that you can transcribe them at a later date, they couldn't be used in court unless your partner knows she is being recorded, but it would help you witha accuracy of transcripts.
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Good luck and ask any questions you may have.
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GTTS
Hi there
I was wondering who would stay in the rental property? Is it council or private rental? Whoever stays in the family home, will largely determine who does what.
If you leave, she can have the rental agreement and council tax put in her name, she would then be able to claim benefits to cover this, even if working she may still be entitled to help. If she isn't working she would be entitled to benefits, but I think if the youngest child is 5 or over she will have to look for work, possibly signing on.
If the children stay with her, she can claim child benefit and child tax credits, she can also claim child maintenance from you. She can also pretty much dictate when and for how long you see the kids... and if that became an issue, you would need to attempt mediation to reach agreement, or if that fails, applying to court for a Child Arrangements Order. The basic contact a court would order is a alternate weekends a nd a weekly midweek contact, but there are other schedules and some Dads have managed to,get much more like a 50/50 arrangement.
There's no way to predict what would happen unfortunately.
All the best
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