[Solved] Advice Needed

Thanks Dad-I-D for your reply.

Let’s get one thing straight I am not trying to get out of paying anything for my children. I just want to be within a value that is sustainable. I have checked the CMS website and this is 1/3 less than I pay now. I would be happy to pay this. Just not getting an agreement from the mother.

I pay way above what I should for maintenance, have 50/50 shared care and pay for extra requirements. Think I’ve never escaped supporting my children. If I could I would have them 100%.

My apologies for my harsh sounding message, I was simply trying to make a point that we are obligated (and can be forced if we don't) pay the calculated amount - I hate the way it comes across and is connected with the amount of time spent with our kids. causes so many un-necessary arguments and quite likely the biggest cause of conflict in contact disputes.

Anything more than the calculated amount is at your discretion.... however try telling a greedy ex who only sees the money and not what is in the children's best interests!

Your ex will never agree to you paying less even when told by the CMS that is all you are obligated to pay.....she will do one of two things.....accept it...or argue and reduce contact until she gets more than she is being told based on your 50/50 shared care arrangement.

I have an ex who said reducing my contact was not about the money....until I proved it was by not paying her maintenance on time! Paid £1 in to her account a week early and then paid the rest a little over a week late when conscience got the better of me.
there was a 19day window between each payments....within that time she contacted the then CSA claiming i'd never paid a penny in the two years since I moved out....and still claimed in court she didn't want my money!
Took me ages to get her to retract the claim because that's the only way the CSA would back off

Paid £1 in to her account a week early and then paid the rest a little over a week late when conscience got the better of me.
there was a 19day window between each payments....within that time she contacted the then CSA claiming i'd never paid a penny in the two years since I moved out....and still claimed in court she didn't want my money!
Took me ages to get her to retract the claim because that's the only way the CSA would back off

LOL. why would you wind her up with a £1 payment? i was tempted to make a 50p payment to her at one point. but no point as she was already making false allegations of financial abuse/control and this would have backed up her claim.

Update:

So I have offered X (Which is still more than CMS valuation for 3 nights or more) because I can not offered Y. Been told this is not acceptable and she will take me to court for my pension. (I have previously offered some pension in May and July when I first explained I was finding it hard to pay the value being paid).

Another thing I forgot to add earlier in the thread was that she is also receiving all the child benefit for the children although I have them half the time.

So now my phone number is blocked and I have been told I’m not allowed to speak to our kids when they are with her. Oh and her family have all removed my family off social media.

hi,

if you have not signed up to CMS, then do it.no need to argue with her any more about child maintenance. as for court and your pension, i have no experience about this. You should get some legal advice.

regarding social media, ignore it and dont bother check her or her family profiles. my ex said if i want to phone the kids, then i have to buy a phone and give to her lol. i said sod off and forget phone contact then.

Paid £1 in to her account a week early and then paid the rest a little over a week late when conscience got the better of me.
there was a 19day window between each payments....within that time she contacted the then CSA claiming i'd never paid a penny in the two years since I moved out....and still claimed in court she didn't want my money!
Took me ages to get her to retract the claim because that's the only way the CSA would back off

LOL. why would you wind her up with a £1 payment? i was tempted to make a 50p payment to her at one point. but no point as she was already making false allegations of financial abuse/control and this would have backed up her claim.

Bill, I did it to prove a point that it was all about the money...hindsight is a wonderful thing and I really should have just not pain the £1 to her....but somewhere in my head at the time it made sense to have a record of having paid something in case she went to the CSA which I was proven right that she did! .
anyway it proved a point at the time and reminded me of just what she was capable of.

@DadForever123
As Bill has said, forget contacting her now via phone or messages, she'll use that as you are harassing her...trust me you don't want to have to fight that too!

register with the CMS and then seek a CAO (Child Arrangements Order) register for Mediation and get the FM01 and C100ready to apply, you have to have tried mediation before applying to court.

speak with your solicitor regarding her going after half your pension, not something I can offer advice on