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All or any help needed
My Daughter is 18 weeks old today, I've been denied contact for the last 12 weeks of this.
My Ex suffers from mental illness and verbally, emotionally and physically abused me during our 6 year relationship.
I've tried mediation she just ignored their letters I feel her abuse of me is being brushed under the carpet I've been to police I'm getting support from domestic abuse charity but they just point me to family court which is fine but seem to let her abusive nature go unmentioned she's stopped all contact I feel very isolated by the system and don't know where to turn. I'm worried a court summons could scare her into doing something stupid and harming herself and my Daughter.
Has the mental illness been diagnosed by a medical professional? Has it been treated in any way, for example does she take medication or receive counselling? Drawing up a report of the abuse you've suffered, perhaps in a chronological order, would go some way towards building a case so that you could apply for access or even residency of your daughter. If the police have been involved you can apply for copies of any incident reports by completing a subject access request with your local police station. The same applies for any medical reports if you have been to your doctors as a result of the abuse.
If there are medical grounds that you believe may put your ex or daughter in danger I would voice these concerns with social services. If her mental illness is that serious and you didn't voice your concerns, how would you feel if something disastrous happened?
Unfortunately all fathers are in the same boat - unless we go through the proper legal channels, mothers can do what they want with regards to access. If you are that concerned for the welfare of your ex or your child I believe you could arrange an urgent hearing with the courts who could then decide what action needs to be taken. Most courts have a group called the PSU (personal support unit) who help you complete forms and similar things. It might be worth giving your local PSU a call to see if they can offer some advice.
If things aren't that serious I would consider going through the courts anyway - but of course it's only a decision that you can make based on your knowledge of the situation. If you don't go through the courts your ex will be able to frustrate contact with your daughter for as long as she likes.
Hi there
I'm sorry to hear you're having such a tough time,
When you say that you feel her abuse is being brushed under the carpet and left unmentioned, who by and what would you like to see done about it? Have the police given her a caution or visited her at all? If you have any proof of domestic violence against you, you may be entitled to legal aid for a solicitor, dependent on your income.
You could share your concerns with the GP and Health Visitor, but if you feel that the situation is serious enough, that she might harm herself or your child, then as the previous poster has said, you should share your concerns with Social Services.
I can understand your reluctance to apply to the court, but as mediation didn't work, The next step is to make a court application I'm afraid, without that your ex can do as she likes as far as contact with your baby is concerned.
All the best
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