[Solved] 50/50 shared care, mediation then court

Hi there

A successful court application for 50/50 shared care, is quite difficult to achieve, but would be dependent on the amount and quality of the contact that is already established, it can depend on how well you work together as parents and also that you live close to one another.

There’s lots of shared care research available that you can utilise, but if you have an older pro establishment style judge and an ex that is particularly hostile to an equal share of contact, you could be up against it... that’s no reason not to try though.

Sometimes it can take a couple of attempts through court to get the contact increased. We do have some members that have managed to get there in stages, we do have some that were successful... but we also have some that went for it and came out with a lot less.

As I said, a lot depends on the judge on the day.

Best of luck

Agree with the above.

How old is your child and how much contact is in place at the moment?

Thanks for the replies.

My lad is currently 3 years old and will be 4 in December.

We currently have a split based on a two week arrangement as detailed below:
Monday/Tuesday - Dad
Wednesday/Thursday - Mom
Friday/Saturday - Dad (Sunday night till 6pm)
Sunday/Monday - Mom
Tuesday/Wednesday - Dad
Thursday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday - Mom

Works out 6 nights every 2 weeks, but i have asked my ex for the last 6 months to have him on the Sunday night (my weekend) aswell as I have him till 6pm anyway, which would give us a 50/50 split but my ex has refused.

She said we can look at changing his routine this September when he starts pre school, so i put forward the 5/5/2/2 scenario meaning i would have him every other Fri/Sat/Sun and every Mon/Tues, which of course she has refused and is now saying i can only have him every other weekend and every monday only which is less than i have him now?

So we are currently in the first stages of mediation trying to agree

That’s a good amount of contact, you could argue that another night wouldn’t have a huge impact,... but that could be seen both ways.

Even if you went to court and the contact stayed the same, it would be of benefit if you came out of it with an order that states that he lives with you both, rather than living with the mother and visiting you. It puts you both on an equal footing.

It’s worrying that she wants to reduce contact, if you fail to get agreement at mediation, I think you would be wise to follow up quickly with an application for your child to live with you both and have equal shared care...it’s unlikely that the court would reduce contact, but if you waited for her to reduce it, you might not be as successful in getting it back fully.

Without wanting to sound cynical, is the possible loss of child maintenance payments a factor in her refusal.

Yes I thought him stopping at mine that Sunday would not impact him much, considering I have him all day and he will be in bed an hour later about 7ish? (less chopping and changing for him)

Application for living with us both and equal shared care is what i will be going for if mediation does not work out, just hopefully the court agree this as I know they tend to favour the mothers even though they should have an equal mind set

Shes trying to reduce midweek contact (to just the monday night) for when he starts pre school in September as school hours are 9-3 and my parents (his Grandma/Grandad) would be picking him up on the Monday and Tuesday nights from School as i work till 5pm (like alot of working parents) she says it will be too much for him which i was fuming about as my parents (Grandma/Grandad) look after him all day Tuesday/Wednesday ( approx. 10 hours a day) currently (other days he is at nursery full time) and they have a great relationship and bond, a few hours after School with them would not impact him and they have been such a big part of his life since he was born.

Thanks for the advice, made me feel alot better about it all and i will let you know how we get on through mediation

Any more info / similiar cases would always be a help to read

As he is used to a good level of contact with his grandparents, cutting that out wouldn't be in his best interests, as he has had a close and loving bond with them since birth... in fact you could argue that it would be more disruptive and distressing for him if contact with them was curtailed in this way.

Best of luck with mediation and please do keep us updated.

Mate,

I had virtually the same agreement with my ex for 4 years. It was total 50/50 custody but she then decided to move an hour away and also that she was the main parent.
I spent £2500 trying to stop the move and to get visitation via the court but when she broke down to me and promised a really good visitation arrangement I stupidly stopped the court proceeding .

Two years down the line I am now back to square one as she kicked off about money and has totally cut down my visitation. It's scandalous.
All for financial gain as less visits = more money.

Court here I come again.

Sorry if this is a doom and gloom story but my advice would be get your agreement made legal. Or you could find yourself from Dad full time to 50/50 dad to sitting at home not knowing when you are going to see your child next.

All the best mate

Unfortunately i am a massive cynic having heard and read so many cases where fathers were getting 50/50 agreements reduced to alternate weekends and half holidays to the point where they number of nights are just less than the threshold for where full maintenance could be reduced.

it's seems to me to have become a "Kids for Cash" system... i.e. the non-resident parent (Typically the father) being forced to pay more to see the kids more. it's not in the resident parent's best interest to let the non-resident parent have the kids more with them likely to get less maintenance if they do!

the system is proper messed up...in my opinion the maintenance should be either paid to a loadable card that only can be used to pay for things for the kids.
or another thought i've had is a set maintenance figure (perecentage) that doesn't change with the number of nights the non-resident parent has the kids. that way it wouldn't affect the resident parent and therefore less insentive for them to refuse the extra time with the kids.