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[Solved] 50 / 50 custody but wants maintenance

 
(@jasonmd)
Active Member Registered

Great website and I feel lucky in some ways as I have had a reasonable relationship with my ex for the last 10 years, although in the beginning it was not made easy for me to see my boys!

For the last 2-3 years we have near enough had dual custody, when I was home from offshore work the boys would stay with me fulltime!

I am one of the many thousands of offshore workers who have bee laid off, i had to tell the ex cannot carry on paying!

you can imagine that not going down well, even though she has a better job and a partner that lives with her and has a pension.

I was threatened with access being taken away as I could not pay and also I should sell assets just so I can pay her!

Luckily the boys are both stable and want to see me and the eldest is coming up for exams,

It has made me realise that maybe I should not be paying as much or any maintenance if when I go back to work, i have documentated evidence that I pay for sons school trips , clothes outside activities.

I just had them for nearly three months straight and paying her maintenance, which I dont think is fair,

i have read several threads about CB benifit and the primary carer, which seems one avenue to go down the other issue is that my eldest will be 16 in Aug and has said he wants to come and stay with me.

we have had a mutual agreement on payments up until i lost my job which lasted 10 years, i can see this getting nasty so want to get facts and figures straight

I do have them both over 42 percent of the year and take them on holidays and pay for clothing,

Any help on what to do next would be great, i feel like if when I do go back to work reducing it by atleast half and see what happens?

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 31/03/2016 11:51 am
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

Hi There,
.
When you do return to work, you will still have to pay your ex something, which would be a percentage of your wage, you would get a reduction for the number of nights that your boys stay with you, as they stay 42% of the time I would expect they would reduce your payment by 40%, If you were to have a true 50/50 split of the time there is a possibility to have to pay nothing, but I believe this is a hard thing to prove as whoever is being paid the child benifit is classed as the main carer and therefor gets a child maintenance payment.
.
When your eldest reaches 16 and wants to live with you, if your ex agrees and he comes to you, you should be able to drop the payment for him at least, if she doesn't allow him to mive you woud need to go through court for a residency order and with his age, his views would be taken into account.
.
GTTS

ReplyQuote
Posted : 31/03/2016 2:47 pm
(@jasonmd)
Active Member Registered

Thanks for the reply and yes I will paying her something when I return to work, its probably going to be cheaper to suck it up and carry on paying what I was paying or close to it, will have to do the calculations.
If my eldest does want to still come and live with me, that will change it and I will apply or ask for the child benefit to be paid for him to me and then that puts me in a better situation to fight the whole thing of if I am paying for one living with me full time I will see about cancelling paying for the other child.

I spend way over what I am sure any father does for his children as thats what it is, had her texts been more polite and understanding about the job loss thing. I would of understood slightly better, it was very clear the money was for paying agreements and actually not for the boys, which we have no control over what the money is used for.

I see the struggles that so many fathers go through and it is biased so many ways to the woman it is so unfair.

Anyway thanks and we will see, I am expecting hassles now with access....

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 31/03/2016 6:59 pm
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Hi there

Do you pay through the CSA, or is your arrangement informal? If you have an informal arrangment, then it's up to you both to negotiate an amount that is acceptable to you both. If either parent is unhappy they have recourse to apply through the CSA, or CMS as its now known.

If you do not share the time with your children equally, which is the case if you have them 42%, your ex would be considered as the primary carer and entitled to claim CB and other tax credits. As the paying parent you could expect the calculated amount to be reduced depending on the number of nights the children stay with you.

If you are unemployed at the moment then you aren't liable to pay maintenance, although if you're not signing on you may have a problem proving this.

The issue of contact and maintenance are two entirely separate issues and one isn't and shouldn't be dependent on the other. She is wrong to threaten to stop contact if you stop paying and it certainly wouldn't be accept as a valid reason if you were to take it to court.

Paying for school trips and buying clothes etc for your children is purely discretionary and wouldn't be taken into account if your maintenance is determined by the CSA/CMS

When you start work again it might be useful to use the CMS calculator as a rough guide to work out what you should be paying.

www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

ReplyQuote
Posted : 31/03/2016 7:25 pm
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Having seen your post on Chris thread, if you have a court ordered maintenance arrangement, this can be overridden after 12 months of it being in place with an application to pay via the CMS. Either parent can open a case with them and this might be to your advantage to do so. That way you should only have to pay the flat rate whilst you are unemployed and any extras you want to pay towards your children is then at your discretion. Once you find employment then you would inform the CMS of the change and they would the recalculate your payments on a percentage of your gross salary, making reductions for overnight stays your children spend with you and any pension you may be paying into.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 31/03/2016 8:05 pm
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