TOPIC: Child maintenance

Child maintenance 9 months 1 week ago #80923

Hi,

I've been paying a mutually agreed amount to my ex direct to her account for my 2 children (who she doesn't allow me to see and has them calling another man Dad) and I've never missed a payment. Today I received a letter off the child maintenance saying she has put an application in and I now have to pay an extra £100 per month.

I have messages between us agreeing to the payments and bank statements to confirm I've never missed and wondered why the child maintenance are allowed to intervene in an arrangement that has been mutually agreed and stuck too!

I also have 2 children that live with me that I obviously support and provide for and although £100 a mo th doesn't sound a lot I feel I've paid a fair amount to start with and the only time she wants to class me as their father is when she wants money! I'm also not in a position to pay legal fees to fight for access to my children and even if I did she's brain washed them enough that they wouldn't come anyway, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks
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Child maintenance 9 months 1 week ago #80924

Hi. She may well have not mentioned to the CMS that you have children of your own living with you. If you haven't already, then I would contact them and ensure they have all your details correct.
Good luck
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Child maintenance 9 months 1 week ago #80926

Hi

Each parent is entitled to open a statutory CM case with CMS. Because it is statutory, it overrides any "informal" agreement that may have been in place - regardless if you were meeting the payments or not.

The first thing to do is to check if the figure is correct, this means working out your gross income and using the calculator here
www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator/

The children whom you provide for currently, should be taken into account, and this should reduce your CM payments. Although the letter from the CMS should state this as part of your schedule for payment.

Normally, the first contact the CMS would make with a non-resident parent would not simply be to state that they need to pay X more...so if this is your first contact with the CMS, you could call them to make sure they have all the details.

There is no getting out paying CM by ignoring letters or avoiding to pay (like it was true to an extent with the old CSA service). But you could set up mediation to see if your ex will reconsider opening a CMS case, and allowing the children to have contact with you (as two separate issues). This has to be a negotiation as she is unlikely to accept 100 per month less just because you ask...although contribution does not have to be financial - child minding and picking-up kids, etc are the sorts of things that parents can offer one another, etc.

Applying to Court via C100 for a Child Arrangements Order does not have to be expensive, (£250, approx court fee) especially if you self-represent which is quite common in the family courts for simple cases.

A list of mediators can be found here
www.nfm.org.uk/

Good luck
Last Edit: 9 months 1 week ago by TashasHideousLaugh.
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Child maintenance 9 months 1 week ago #80927

Hi There,
.
As already said, your ex can contact CMS at any point as could you have, either parent has the right to open a new case with CMS.
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I also agree that the first contact from CMS would have been to ask you about your situation, they shouldn't have just written a letter telling you how much to pay.
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I would contact them and ask them how the amount was made up and inform them about the children you have living with you as that will give you a reduction.
.
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Help me please I am suicidal over worrying here 9 months 1 week ago #80943

Hello I am new to this site but I need help please . I am feeling very low and now think I should end my life as this CM is a nightmare. I have been paying my exs every month but due to ill health I am temporarily out of work. I want to go back to work but CM has stated that calculations are made before tax and NI and they don't take into consideration my rent cost for my bedsit. I have worked out that by the time my TAX NI rent and CM is Paid as am left with 200 for the month to live on how can we pay bills etc. I need help please
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Help me please I am suicidal over worrying here 9 months 1 week ago #80946

Hi There,
.
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way, what can we do to help?
.
With the feelings you are having I would urge you to visit your GP as soon as possible, if like in most areas you would struggle to get an appointment, I would just turn up at the surgery and tell the receptionist how you are feeling and ask for help.
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You do also have the samaritans you could call (on 116 123) I know others have used this and it has helped them a lot.
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Please keep talking to us and we will try and help you.
.
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Help me please I am suicidal over worrying here 9 months 1 week ago #80956

Hi there

I'm so sorry to hear how badly you are struggling, please talk to us so that we can support you.

You say you're out of work at the moment, if that's the case then you don't pay maintenance during this time. As well as going to see your GP, which is a really good idea, you can also go and see your MP, they have what's called a surgery, usually every week and if you go and talk to them about how you are being made to feel I'm sure they can help you to deal with the CMS.

Please let us know that you are ok this morning....we have had other dads that have felt like you do now, talking helps and getting some help from your GP will also help.

All he best
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Not legally trained... just plenty of experience and common sense!
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Help me please I am suicidal over worrying here 9 months 1 week ago #80957

Practitioner42 wrote:
Hello I am new to this site but I need help please . I am feeling very low and now think I should end my life as this CM is a nightmare. I have been paying my exs every month but due to ill health I am temporarily out of work. I want to go back to work but CM has stated that calculations are made before tax and NI and they don't take into consideration my rent cost for my bedsit. I have worked out that by the time my TAX NI rent and CM is Paid as am left with 200 for the month to live on how can we pay bills etc. I need help please

It is a good idea to make an appointment with your MP (find them here)

www.theyworkforyou.com/mp/

to discuss any issues you have with CM. You can use this appointment to bring to the attention of your MP the growing body of evidence of inappropriate CM calculations.

Here is the sticky, follow the link inside the sticky
www.dad.info/forum/child-maintenance/472...ate-cms-calculations

Also visit your GP with any health concerns!
Last Edit: 9 months 1 week ago by TashasHideousLaugh.
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Help me please I am suicidal over worrying here 9 months 1 week ago #80986

hi Practitioner

in addition to the advice above, I would recommend getting in touch with stepchange.org and the citizens advice bureau to see if there is any help that can be had with your finances, it's worth seeing if there are any benefits that you may be able to claim. but above all, look after yourself, if you keep yourself healthy, then you will be in a better place to face everything else.
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I am not qualified in family law, or other area of family matters. I am simply a dad who has been through the mill. Any opinions I give are my own, and any advice should be checked before acting on it.

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Help me please I am suicidal over worrying here 9 months 1 week ago #80995

How are feeling today Practitioner42?

It would be great if you could drop us a line or two, just to let us know how you are.
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Not legally trained... just plenty of experience and common sense!
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Help me please I am suicidal over worrying here 9 months 6 days ago #81059

Apply for child arrangments £215 c100 form build that relationship there your kids 2 don't let her get away with it ,overtime get weekends wich most dads do that will reduce your payments by about £15 per week or £60 per month 2 night's pw ,hate it when people get away with it be more aggresive there your kids aswell I really want to fight this with you !
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