[Solved] 3 months on and bacon sandwiches

Hello All.

It's been 3 months since my wife and kids left me and 2 months since I posted. I thought I would post again because people on this site helped me when I was at my lowest and I'd like to give something back to help those who are even newer to this than me. 3 months might not seem a long time but it seems to be in this situation. I still feel baffled and wondering how the heck I'm going to get through this but I look back at the walking wreck I was in the first couple of weeks and it's like a different person.

What changed? Not much. I still think about it almost all the time and wonder how it happened and how it's going to turn out. I'm still being staggered by developments such as the ability of a woman to completely rewrite history so It's like you lived in different worlds. Or the coldness and vindictiveness that can come from a person who once loved you. And then I wonder if I seem callous to her and if her vindictiveness is because she isn't so sure in her own mind as she pretends to be. It goes round and round in my head minute after minute day after day. That much hasn't changed.

But something else has and for some reason I feel stronger. I still don't like being stranded not knowing how the rest of my life is going to turn out but I feel now it might make me fed up but I don't think it's going to kill me. That wasn't always the case: for a time I was researching methods of suicide online and if wanting to die could actually kill you I wouldn't be writing this now. Anti depressants definitely helped but there are side effects and the quicker I get off 'em the better.The clincher about suicide is that you are 30 times more likely to mess it up than get it right so you'd still be living and in an even bigger mess.

But at a certain point I stopped thinking that life had finished and somehow knew that it would go on one way or another. Something will turn up. I don't know what it is but not knowing kind of makes it a bit interesting. On the other hand she might still come back because deep down maybe she still loves me but that will bring it's own difficulties and I'm not sure I still want it. There's something about that unknown future that makes it a bit more exciting than going back to an old past that has to try to put right so much damage that maybe can't be put right.

So for you guys out there who are reeling with the shock and barely staggering one foot in front of the other like I was it DOES seem to get better or at least easier. A turning point for me was being told I was broken: as soon as I heard that I went out and bought a packet of bacon and ate the lot in one go and for a week after that I did I did it almost every day. There's nothing like telling a man he's broken to get him determined to get unbroken pretty quick and it could be bacon sandwiches do it as good as anti depressants and with less side effects.

If my experience is anything to go by there really is life after being poleaxed. Get those bacon sandwiches down your neck and with a bit of luck it won't be long before you're helping to hold up the rest of us. Maybe then somebody can tell me just how the heck these women can rewrite history so you're to blame for every single thing and you haven't got a single good quality to your name because I'm blowed if I can work it out except it may be something to do with judging everything by their feelings and not giving much weight to facts. They really seem to be a different species and I'm starting to think we're better off with bacon sandwiches.

Good luck all.