[Solved] 2 days on 12 days off

My understanding of this 'every other weekend' scenario, is that it gives the child 'quality time' with each parent. When children are in the school system, they have weekends off (which may or may not coincide with their parents' work patterns, but I think Courts tend to assume that they will).

Before going to Court, I saw my son every weekend for 25 hours (one overnight stay) - I was told by the mother that it was ' a generous arrangment', and that I should be happy with that (I wasn't). The Order when it came determined the alternate weekend set-up, and to be really honest, I quickly became very glad of it. I do not have a good relationship with my son's mother. Before the Court Order, she treated me as irrelevant at worst, or someone to be tolerated at best and I found any contact with her stressful and humiliating. With the Order in place, I pick my son up from school on Friday (for his weekend with me) and take him back to school on Monday morning, and therefore have minimal contact with his mum (a big plus). I'm able to go away with him on the weekends if I want (something I was severely limited in doing with the one overnight stay regime). Our weekends together are much more relaxed, and we get to have a phone chat on the weekends we're apart.

I should also add that the 'standard' Court Order arrangement also includes 'mid week contact', so there wouldn't be a 12-day gap.

be-warned..... rant

you know that its amazing how my ex's mum took her dad through the courts almost thirty years ago and all he got was every other weekend....... and in all that time since we have now moved on to every other weekend plus one day per week as standard fair...... one day extra per week (and that's not guaranteed over night) in thirty years of reforms to the child welfare system.... originally written to equal things out and give mothers an equal footing when divorce became more acceptable in our society and the mums stayed at hole looking after the kids...... well that times gone and the world has moved on.

So in thirty years we've moved from 2 in 14 to 4 in 14 but in the same time society and society norms have changed massively from working dads and stay at home mums to both parents working and both equally sharing in raising the children...... that is until the ex considers you as no longer part of the family anyway.

It also annoys me how men (mostly) are marginalised during school term times.... before whilst you were all still a family together there was no issues but once separated..... spending time (especially overnights) with your kids duing term is only acceptable if the ex either agrees or it's 'that one per week extra' that's now standard fare. Its just as important that our children see us helping with homework, getting involves with learning songs and line for school plays, taking to school or picking up, being there to give advice about playground bullies and all the rest that your suddenly not around for anymore.

I understand that there are a lot of variables and a lot of different family life styles now ..... but stilllllll......