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Hi CubsDad82,
Thank you for sharing. I can understand that you must feel hurt about this. As parents we do things for our children and sometimes we can feel like we do it with little or no appreciation in return, but I can assure you, that as a parent of now young adults, even if they don't always show it or say it, they do appreciate all you do for them. Wanting recognition isn't wrong - it's natural and for some people really important as it encourages them and reinforces to them that they are doing a good job.
So, an alternative suggestion for you - September 16th is National Stepfamily Day. So you could buy a blank card for your stepson and tell him how much you care for him and that you enjoy being his stepdad and how you appreciate all he means to you and your partner. This may hopefully spark a conversation about why you have done this.
I think from reading your post, Fathers Day has been surrounded by the trauma of losing your stepsons Grandad and his Mums father, so it maybe that it still evokes difficult memories.
Or it maybe that he simply forgot! Children do have this habit, and sometimes need a little hint. I hope it works out for you next year. Be thankful for the relationship that you do have. It reads like your stepson thinks alot of you.
Best wishes, Spurgeons Parent Support
I would not beat myself over it. I never have expected anything in return for being a stepfather for the past 30 odd years. I see that you would like to be recognized by them, I say, be recognized by YOU. you have and are doing a great job, give yourself a big pad on the back and be happy of your own recognition as none is better than our love for ourselves and our efforts. In a sense you are already implying that you might be overreacting and that is the correct approach I believe. Its like I'm a grown man and should not need this sign of appreciation, but I do and I'm hurt when I don't' see it, then move on confident of the great effort (parenting and step parenting are no walks in the park) that is reflected in your reciprocal love with your son. Don't sweat the small stuff, you shared with us who are like minded and from then on we resume our guiding role. Well done!
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