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Young Father, world...
 
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[Solved] Young Father, world falling apart

 
(@Seanlee93)
New Member Registered

Hi, I'm new to this site and thought I'd seek some advice from anyone who maybe in the same boat I am or anyone who can help.

I got with my EX around about November and by late December she was pregnant, we both knew the risks.. So it's our own fault

She told me a few days after the new year, I just started an apprenticeship in September and this took me by absolute surprise she told me I could walk away after only being with her a month or so, I was brought up to leave her when she most needed me, so I told her I'd be with her 100% percent of the way... Whatever decision

It has now been 2 and a half months since we broke up.... Arguments kept breaking out, she didn't feel the same about me anymore, I'm immature and rude, we didn't see each other enough, hurtful comments where said... Mainly on her part but I had my part in it I admit that. We used to argue over baby names so early in... It was either her way or no way... She hated all my suggestions... Slandering them and taking the mick out of them etc

My little boy is due in August, I'm on a low wage, we hardly talk unless I text her and even then it's mainly small talk and stops after ten minutes...
I feel like she's shutting me and my parents away, her family and her have told me that's not the case but I feel so alone, distanced from my friends and parents who I hardly speak to at all.
I just feel like I need some serious guidance and some steps to take, in order to bring me back to sanity, my work colleagues can see the difference, my work is being effected, I don't speak to my parents... Always come home late... It's just falling part and I don't know what to do.

Sorry this post is so long and I hope someone can help

Sean ☺

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 17/06/2014 2:50 am
 1626
(@1626)
Noble Member Registered

Hi Sean, really sorry to hear you're feeling like this. There's lots of lovely members on here that can support you and offer advice. You sound like you are doing all the right things. It might help to go to the doctor and ask them to arrange some counselling so that you have someone to discuss all of this with?

When you're feeling a bit stronger, it might be worth asking to meet with your ex or emailing her to ask if you can discuss how you will deal with arrangements for the child once it's born. It might save some heartache further down the line & help with how you're feeling at the minute. Also, your ex might need some reassurance from you that you will be there financially, practically & emotionally for the baby when he/she arrives.

You can always talk on here, there's lots of members who will understand what you're going through and be there to support you 🙂

ReplyQuote
Posted : 17/06/2014 10:17 am
(@rob007)
Estimable Member Registered

hi sean im sorry to hear about ur troubles mate. my best advice is to walk away and forget u ever met her. find a decent mum and make a nice fmily with someone who wont make ur life a living [censored]. ive had yrs of it and I love my son more than anyman could love a child but that may break me. Ive struggled for the past two yrs battling all sorts of stupidity. Ive no serious allegations against me and I cant do anymore than 2 letters per month cos she doesn't want it an says it harasses her.

I would wish this living torture on anyone

find a better life sean. good luck mate

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18/06/2014 9:50 pm
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

Hi Sean

Don't forget your ex's hormones are going to be all over the place for the moment, so it might be best to remain supportive, but to keep it low key for the moment. I'd see if she'll let you be at the birth though.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18/06/2014 11:53 pm
(@mr-slim)
Famed Member Registered

It's tough mate but you must back off give her a shed load of space, women go absolutely nuts when they find out they are pregnant and more than likely will not get back to normal for a very long time, I was best friends will my ex for 5 years until she fell pregnant and from that day on she has been the worst most vile vindictive women I have ever met.

Give her space but let her know your there maybe send her some flowers and a card every now and again, you need to be strond as your going to be a dad in August try and put things on the back burner and take care of yourself and crack on with your life mate.

You've come to the right place for advice keep reading and posting your child has a right to have you in her life so be there for him/her 🙂

Slim 🙂

ReplyQuote
Posted : 19/06/2014 12:55 am
(@Nannyjane)
Illustrious Member Registered

Some great advice here.

Try not to take her insults personally, pregnancy does strange things to a woman's thought processes...she will be under a lot of stress, worrying about the birth and about the baby being healthy. She and her family have said that they don't want to shut you out, you just have to wait and see.

August is only a couple of months away so you don't have long to wait and hopefully she will include you when the time comes. Flowers and a card to let her know you are there for her as well as the baby is a great idea...but no pressure.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 19/06/2014 3:26 pm
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

.. pregnancy does strange things to a woman's thought processes....

You have to ask evolution - [censored]?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 21/06/2014 10:23 pm
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