Thanks for joining us on the forum – glad to have you here. You are welcome to post 24/7 but please note that whilst we have forum moderators we will only be moderating the forum during office hours. If though you need urgent crisis help, please contact Samaritans on 116 123.
Spurgeons and Dad.Info doesn’t investigate reports of abuse or neglect. But below, you can find advice on who to contact if you have concerns about a child or young person.
Reporting a concern
It can be difficult to know what to do if you think a child is at risk. It’s important to remember that if you’ve spotted things that don’t seem right, others will have too. Speaking up can make sure that child gets help as soon as possible.
The sooner you contact your local children’s social care duty team, the quicker they can act. They’re available 24 hours a day, and can make an anonymous report if that feels safer. If a child is in immediate danger, please call the police straight away by dialling 999.
Report child abuse or neglect to your local council
Use these links to get in touch with your local council:
I've got to the point that i feel i have to leave the family home if anything is going to get better.
Does anyone know if I will be damaging my future child access rights by waking out? My wife definitely won't agree to me leaving so it will be me walking out. I'm not walking away from parental responsibility - i want as much access to my son as possible.
Is there anything i can say or do to prevent things looking bad for me in the future?
Hi and sorry to hear things are that bad for you.
You have to remember that you are leaving your relationship, not your child. Your ex may blame you and try to be difficult but a court wouldn't see it that way if it ever got that far.
I would suggest that you think carefully about how frequently and where you would like to spend time with your child once the relationship is over so that you can put some solid proposals to the mother. Mediation can be a really good way to resolve contact and finance matters following a separation. Here are some links which might help.
https://dad.info/divorce-and-separation
Rights to contact are of the child and not the parents. If you were married to the mother or are named on the birth certificate (in recent years) you will have Parental Responsibility and this gives you a right to be involved with decisions on major issues such as medical and educational matters.
Good luck, keep posting and we will do all we can to support you.
Hi there
I agree with the advice Yoda has given, it must be really tough for you at the moment but it's better to talk to your wife and try and get some agreement in place about how the split will happen and what arrangements to make to cover finances and contact with your child. Mediation can help as Yoda has said, but Relate also help families going through separation and can help make the transition a little easier.
www.relate.org.uk
Relationships breakdown, it might not be what your wife wants, but if you are thoughtful of their needs in practical terms and try and keep things amicable it might help.
Best of luck