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Just need to ramble on about my life, so sorry in advance.
After the devastating blow my wife has dealt to end our 20 year marriage - we still live together until we agree on next steps. The option of me buying her out of the property so she can leave with a pocket full of cash and set up home again may not become real given what I now know from the solicitor.
She has an appointment with a financial advisor on Friday afternoon at her mothers house. Her behaviour just doesn't seem normal for someone who is dealing with a marriage breakdown. It's as if she is embracing this change too positively and that makes me feel worried and concerned that I am about to be dealt a severe financial blow.
Maybe I am just being paranoid, given my situation, who can blame me but something clearly is not right.
She has now started to go to military fitness, her appearance is changing - perfect hair, make up, new clothes and to go to work to do her job as a cleaner. I have asked her if there is someone else on the scene but she denies it - I am now beginning to doubt her answer as she is constantly texting someone and her face lights up everytime she opens a text message.
If it was to be found that she has another partner, does this strengthen my case if I wanted to apply for custody of my kids? When all said and done, she has had two affairs during our married life, both when our children were very young.
Any help and guidance is always welcome guys.
Craig
Hi Craig,
I don't think adultery comes into custody battles, though i'm not 100% certain, the main concern is about the childrens well being not how the seperation happened.
A thought on her good mood (though I tend to agree with you) is that maybe she is embracing the change, she may have felt trapped and stuck in a rut, ending the relationship may have given her a different outlook from the one she had when she felt down (which she must have felt to end the relationship.
Like I say just a thought, I know when I finally left my ex I felt relieved and felt quite happy about it dispite the issues that were happening with regards to finances and my son.
GTTS
Craig,
when a relationship breaks down - it tends to be that one person in the couple has already emotionally left and moved on. That tends to be the person who instigates the split. You may find that your wife is feeling a little more relaxed now everything is out in the open.
I don't know if this is any help.
I guess you are right. It doesnt help my suspicious mind at all - not you, her behaviour.
I am living a life of absolute misery at the moment and feeling so much pain and devastation - it just seems so unfair
Adultery makes no difference to the residence, so I would leave that one alone. I have to say that your wifes behaviour pretty much mirrors mine (except the new hair) when I finally told my ex I wanted a divorce - it was as if a massive weight was suddenly gone, and at the time, there wasn't anyone else on the scene (though I had a brief fling not too long before, which was what helped me get my thoughts in order).
I know this is a massive shock, but you've seen the change in her - my advice is to take a leaf out of her book and start to look after yourself properly. Get fit if you think you need to and exercise is good for lifting your out of a depression. If you both start to enjoy life, it might help you both to move on with less bitterness.
I agree completely with ACTD, go join a gym, even if you are fit and healthy, a few work outs at the gym will help you feel better about yourself and you can start to move on yourself.
GTTS