[Solved] Wife says it’s over

Ok thanks. Will the court force me to move out too?

If they rule that the child lives with the mother, in the existing house, then yes, you have to move out. They can order that the house is sold, however, if your ex tells the court that she is willing to buy you out, then I doubt very much that they'd force the sale, as it would be better for stability to remain in the house they know. That's why I think your best option is to negotiate a settlement for her to buy you out now - the court may not be as generous as your ex may try to be at the moment.

Custody would be a long road. I spoke to one of my school friends Last September whose a family law solicitor and she said one case she handled in regards to custody and it cost around £40,000 for the dad....

Yep, that's what mine cost 15 years ago , and that was after a 20% discount for a family member. In my case, custody was actually sorted at the first hearing, the bulk of the cost was sorting out contact because she wouldn't comply with orders for medical reports etc so there were quite a few hearings.

I think I have messed up. She started mediation a few weeks ago, I told them I would consider engaging once I had received a divorce petition. They then contacted me last week once I had the petition and I forgot to respond!! She has now had the form issued to say that I have refused mediation. Is this going to go against me? Is there anything I can do?

The judge might get a little bit annoyed about it (I am not too sure though) they do tend to say mediation should be attempted and there has to be a valid reason why it did not proceed.

I have no idea what sort of contact your ex was going to offer, but if this could have been settled out of court amicably, then it really should have been rather than going to court (wasting their time)

I hope it doesnt come back to bite you, depends what sort of solicitor she has, they could try and use it against you that you "could not be bothered" to attend medication. They can easily twist it saying that you forgot means you don't really care? I hope that is not the case.

Neither of us are represented. We have informally agreed joint custody, it is the house that we can't agree on

well, put simply, if you can't agree, then a court will have to make that decision for you, and the first step will be to push you back to mediation.

Ultimately, you want the house sold, and she wants to buy you out - if you go back to basics, the house could be sold and she could buy it. She has achieved what she wants, but there have been extra costs involved - solicitors and estate agents, so you both lose out. Furthermore, if you still both can't agree, then you would both probably both end up with lawyers, and it could then get very expensive for both of you.

Yes it’s a expensive and lengthy process but worth it because it’s obviously for the kids....

We’ve had our first mediation session. I’ve agreed to let her buy me out.

I said I want shared custody, which she has agreed in principle but says she has concerns. I need to present a plan for how that could work. Does anyone with experience of this have any suggestions?

Its fairly easy to work out as your son is 10 . Do you work though? If you are working then a 50-50 arrangement equal time would be hard to sort out. A lot of dads have 10 or 12 nights out of 28 rather than 14 and half of the holidays.

Your ex rightly has reason to be concerned how it will work out as you will need to have same days and times etc to ensure consistency. It needs to be workable and practical. If your ex partner buys you out then you would need a 2 bedroom property as well

Yes I do work. Currently working from home. No idea when I might return to the office.

Why do I need 2 bedrooms?