[Solved] Wife says it’s over

We’ve talked.

She says she’s given me plenty of time to get used to the idea and that I insist on trying to control her and treating her like [censored] until she gives in. Apparently this is what I always do.

She said it’s clear there’s no chance of reaching an amicable solution here and there’s no way she’s living like this any longer. She’d hoped we could move forward amicably but clearly I’m not willing to.

I doubt she’d be willing to help me financially. She hates my guts right now.

Pinkman,

Based on everyone's responses including my own you can see where this is going. You absolutely have to put a plan together. Even if it means pretending to be amicable just to move forward. She may support you financially until buying you out of the property (although deduct the financial support from final equity split) if it means that you can afford to move out now and amicably resolve matters. She potentially 'hates your guts' as you say based on you being unreasonable and not accepting the relationship is over.

You're main priority is to sort yourself out now (including accommodation), then child contact, divorce and finances. She will also incur legal costs however it appears that her solicitor is 'leading' her down the route of claiming domestic violence so that she gets legal aid. You will not be entitled to any Legal Aid.

Like I say now is the time to focus, keep clarity and make all the right moves for an amicable separation.

The more examples of unreasonableness you give her the more she can argue domestic violence, get legal aid, reduce child contact and get a better divorce settlement. It can even come down to you getting nothing from the property and the judge saying that you get nothing if she decides to convince a judge the relationship broke down due to domestic violence and all the trauma she has gone through (its extreme and unlikely but family court judges have wide ranging powers including giving her all the equity in a property especially as she has a child to look after!).

Keep strong and positive and put yourself first!

excuse me,can you tell country of reside before UK?u mentioned something about this,but your clear knowledges of english makes me question my good understanding of the matter.

right now ,real time him condition does not imply balanced and prudent solutions.he is facing a divorce, and their relationship turns into a hot phase of divorce.hes need help right now and right here

Also every divorce have moral aspects of life when women decide to inspire this.all we know about it,but no one talk about it loudly.I'm talking about such things as a duty to a family, a child and one to the other.very often, or perhaps almost always, a woman does not realize the possible consequences of divorce, primarily for children after many years.I really think that a situation where women gets everything and the other gets nothing is unfair,as well as the fact that then women have the right to interpret even court decisions at their own discretion.

Hi, I’m not a legal expert but an expert by experience:
1 put your son in first place
2 if you cannot buy her out, let her have the house and let her buubyou our: get the house taxated
3 if she wants to live there with your son, let her, it will be good for him, less changes
4 get on with your life, don’t stick in the past.

Just my 4 cents

Sounds like you may have to step off the gad a little here. She is dropping some familiar lines which may come back to haunt you. The fact she is stating you are "controlling her" they can go back and use this as domestic abuse.

I understand your situation, and I really empathise with you, keep discussions brief between each other and only about the child arrangements. It is going to be quite a tough time for you all, just try not to do anything that may make it a longer drawn out process. Good luck with it all, and I hope things settle down for you soon.

I was told to stay until you have had a court order to do so, never leave will be very difficult from onwards.

It’s just not fair that I lose my home and see less of my son just because she wants to end our marriage. What does she lose? Why is it only me losing out here?

Hi

Sympathise and empathise with your situation.

Unfortunately this is just what happens.

When a marriage breaks down it isn't about who gains and loses but the best way to move forward (Things aren't always fair)..

The hope is to try and get it so that there are no winners or losers but when there is a house, financials and most importantly a child this isnt always possible.

Don't forget if you get 50:50 access to your son then your wife will also see less of him when he is with you.

Accepting a relationship or marriage is over is very difficult and having someone to talk to is important. A friend or family member is great but failing that the Samaritans are good too..

If you focus on her making this decision or that its not fair or trying to find a way to punish her then you are not giving 100% to focusing on yourself and what is the best outcome for you in relation to having somewhere to live, your finances and access to your son.

Feel fre to use the forum to vent, I know I have.

All the best.

you run to the front. he is focused on saving his family and this is his life and his decision. besides, if he is not local, your words of support will not have an effect,too big cultural and mentality differences.I wish him not to break, everything is only in his hands,how to save a family, or start a new life

Well you both loose a lot, it is often the case that women get priority in custody which is not fair. If it is possible to get alternating visiting ( one week you the other week your wife ) that’s the best you can wish for.
A ban of visiting your kid, like I have, is the worst.
In between there are a lot of possibilities.
Talk to your wife on what she sees a possible.