[Solved] Wife due to move out

As you say, this is a new chapter.

Make the house your own now, the house you wish for you and your children.

Stay involved with your children, its good that they are close.

Chin up and embrace the future.

Regards,

Dave

Thank you Dave - life is changing. It's tough but I know I have to focus on what I have rather than what I am losing.
My children will always be the most important part of my life.

It just really hurts to think that this family unit that they live in is changing for them aswell.
I have tried for so long to keep my feelings bottled up to protect my children but it gets harder each day.

Craig

It can be difficult to focus on the plus when feeling so low....I know.

Dont bottle your feelings up keep talking, make good use of this forum.

Make the family unit a new unit that you are all happy in.

Give the house a good clear out when she leaves. I did this gradualy and started with the bedroom. Inspirarional qutes on the wall etc.

It does get hard, todays a tough one for me having had the chidlren all weekend. Im feeling low but have to power through it. I need to take my own advice.

Your not alone as you know so keep chatting.

Dave

I know 100% how it feels

me and my ex separated in the jan but she didn't move out till june time after sorting out the money and other bits ... I was ok till the day and coming back to the house empty with no children was difficult ... if possible have your family around you as much as you cn the first few weeks it's difficult ,

I made myself busy by decorating where I could ...making it mine , taking ownership and moving on with the new chapter it's 4 years on I can say yes that time was hard but having constant contact with my children now having a wife and another child I would never expect to have happened ever .... so you never know what your new story will bring ,

My children were very young 2 and nearly 5 when they moved out but keeping the house and their bedrooms etc as helped and also they feel the benefit of two birthdays , Christmases etc their are positives ...biggest being I am a much better parent now I am happy

good luck take each day as it comes and remember small steps travel the same distance just at a steadier pace

Thank you both.
I do plan to make many changes to the house - I have agreed to keep a number of boxes in the loft space whilst she is renting rather than her move it all with her. I am ok with that and she understands that the house will be removed of any reference to her living there.

My kids are at an age that they fully understand what is happening which I think in some sense makes it more difficult for me as I want to protect them against being upset. My oldest is nearly 14 and my other two are 11.

I cherish every night when I give them a kiss. I could honestly stand on my landing and cry at the thought that soon I will not be able to have that every night. It's all very sad when two people that have loved each other so much decide to break up.
I have a good family network although most are consumed with their own lives. The friends I have seem to find it difficult to know what to say and support but with them just being there helps

Hey mate I couldn't even begin to imagine how you are feeling but just be grateful you're well and truly part of you're kids lives and you get to se them regular there's a lot of Fathers who don't.

It's also a bonus that they are moving not to far away so thats a blessing.

Like the previous posts have said make the place your own my Brother was married for 16 years when one day his wife turned round and said I don't love you no more get out, he was absolutely devastated and I drove 300 miles to spend the weekend with him, I broke my heart to see him so distressed. He's got three kids and was distraught for a good few months whilst he stayed with our parents then he got his own place.

This was a massive turning point for him and I went back up to spend the weekend with him when he moved in and my god what a difference, as it turns out he has a better relationship with the kids now he's more himself and loves doing what he wants for a change he said breaking that 16 years of routine done him the world of good.

The change in the kids is amazing and they come round after school everyday to see him they all are so much happier as they are not living with the arguments ect all 3 of them have come on leaps and bounds at school.

I wouldn't worry about upsetting the kids I think they will appreciate having happier parents in the long run.

It's good you've got your family and friends about for support and you can always come here too 🙂

Keep your chin up mate 🙂

Thank you mate - really appreciate everyones comments and support at this time.
I could burst into tears reading peoples kindness and caring messages.

Really does mean a lot buddy 🙂

Have a cry mate....Ive had 2 this morning....quite cathartic.

I work from home and have been moping around all morning, must get m head cleared and get some work done. 🙂

Regards,

Dave

awwww mate, I feel for you - we are all in the same boat and here for each other.
Maybe we all need a good night out!

Cheers
Craig

Another thing i found with the separation is that when i did see my children i really valued the time much more than i had before as before i was so busy working, doing diy, keeping everything together my ex is a little but obsessed with her phone/laptop/television

so never did anything but now i have such great quality time with my children, the time i don’t see them i am planning what to do ...not expensive but time out making memories etc , you will really value quality time

Your children are of an age they could face-time you etc. so maybe you can say good night each night that way ?

I absolutely agree with you Eric - when my ex originally had the children, I saw them every alternate weekend (400 mile round trip) but that was very good time with them. 🙂