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To leave or not to ...
 
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[Solved] To leave or not to leave?

 
(@PboroGuy)
New Member Registered

I have been with my girlfriend for over 10 years. We have a 5 year old boy who is brilliant. My girlfriend is currently 34 weeks pregnant, the problem is I've recently come to realise I don't love her any more.

I suspected it a couple of years back but I ignored it because i thought i was just having a low point but I realise now it's been a long time coming. We don't tend to do a lot of activities together as we don't seem to have that much in common. We had a frank chat about a month ago but I think we're both concerned about any decisions we make.

I've told a couple of close friends and one of them advised me that I'd need to wait until the baby is at least weaned before I'd be allowed her over to mine (if I left). Firstly is this true?

I don't want to be the guy who leaves a pregnant woman on her own, especially as she'll be on mat leave from this week, but I also don't want to keep being miserable and possibly make her miserable too.

I'm excited for the new baby and I'm ready to love the [censored] out of her 🙂 but I don't know what to do. I'm happy to pay/support as I need to regardless.

I'm not expecting a solution (although that would be great). I'll also accept MTFU either to go or stay but just curious on strangers opinions/experiences.

Thanks All

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 25/10/2018 5:08 pm
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

Hi There,

I think that before you make a decision you need to talk openly with your partner, and try and work out what you both want, you could do this on your own or look at couples counselling, a counsellor would help you to keep things on track and allow you to be possible a bit more open.

You may find that you both want to try and be together, or that actually it isn't right for either of you and that by separating amicably you can be better separated parents.

GTTS

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25/10/2018 9:50 pm
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

I wouldnt like to say what you should or shouldn’t do, these are decisions that you and your girlfriend need to make together.

Couple split up, some manage to be civil about it and prioritise the needs of their children; working together and being flexible as parents... if that can be achieved, then the transition will be easier for you all.

I feel that sometimes, there is a lot of ill feeling when a relationship breaks down, because there has been no communication leading up to the split.

It might be a good idea to look at counselling, it’s not just to help couples stay together, it can also help with the aftermath of a break up.

We also have a splitting up app that you could have a look at. I’ll find the link for you.

https://click.clickrelationships.org/content/all-issues/considering-separation-as-new-parents/

Best of luck

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26/10/2018 4:25 pm
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