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i have two daughters and recently have been going through a messy break up with their mother. the oldest is nearly three and the youngest is only six months old. my ex partner moved out with the girls into a rented flat in the building next door to where i live, less than a minute's walk from my front door. at first i was still seeing both girls almost every day, however over recent weeks my ex has decided that the girls need a structured routine to seeing their dad, although i cannot commit to a certain day each week as i work a rotating shift pattern and my schedule is never the same from one week to the next 🙁 i had hoped that there would be a bit of flexibility and understanding around this issue, but no luck at the moment. i saw my three year old daughter on friday and she stayed with me until sunday afternoon. it had been almost two weeks since i saw her, even though they live next door and there have been plenty of opportunities for me to see them.
We had a fantastic time together, however it was quite bittersweet for me. it will be especially difficult for my oldest daughter as we already have a very close relationship, and she is old enough to understand what is happening. throughout the weekend she kept saying "daddy i love you" and "daddy i've missed you". this afternoon when i had to leave her with her mum, she started crying and saying "i want to stay with daddy", "i want daddy" and "i miss my daddy". I hugged her and said that i love her too and that even though we don't live together any more, whenever she wants to see me she just has to tell her mum and i will come. my ex partner got annoyed and said that i am confusing her. as far as i am concerned she should be able to see me if it's causing her distress, why should she go through two weeks without her dad when i live next door.
i have no idea how to approach the subject, does anyone have any advice? i feel terrible 🙁 i love my kids so much and it's killing me knowing they're in the flat next door and i can't see them
Hey whitey
Your daughter probably is confused but it's not your fault that your work schedule is unpredictable. Living so close could really have it's advantages for all of you but I imagine it could also cause some complications.
Other than agreeing with each other which is sounding unlikely from your previous post, I would say at this moment your best bet is probably to try mediation.
Good luck