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There's a news article ( http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/families-and-relationships-news/is-divorce-contagious ) on the DadTalk front page today, taken from the Daily Mail. The story has been in several news outlets over the past week - it's all about the 'contagiousness' of divorce.
Here's an excerpt:
Researchers have discovered that divorce is catching and spreads like a disease through families, workplaces and groups of friends.
The domino effect means that if an immediate friend or colleague splits up, your own chance of divorce increases by 75 per cent.
Even the break-up of a friend-of-a-friend's marriage boosts your chances of divorce by a third, scientists say.
The researchers describe the effect as 'divorce clustering' - and believe that break-ups within friendship groups force couples to start questioning their own relationships.
We've seen several of our friends' marriages fall apart over the last two years. It may or may not be a coincidence, but most of the separations have been instigated by the wives.
For us, it's almost had the opposite effect of what the article suggests - we've had several talks about our relationship, re-stating our commitment to one another and becoming more vigilant about protecting our marriage.
What do you think? What has been your experience of divorce and separation within your group of friends, or even your family? What kind of effect has it had on your own relationship? Do you think divorce is contagious?
I believe it is 'contagious' - generally, if a marriage is breaking down, then after the separation and a settling down period, then both parties are going to bounce back and do all the things that the perceived that they couldn't do when they were married, and generally seem much happier. Any couple who are friends and whose marriage may not be too happy, will see their newly divorced friends having a good time and this will make them question their own marriage more. Some will stay married, but some will split up, and this adds to the statistics of breakups occurring in clusters.
All relationships have their highs and lows. Sometimes it's hard work keeping it all together. Sometimes it feels like it's just meant to be and nothing could shake it. Sometimes it's just wrong; we make mistakes and we need to run (hopefully in this last case, we work it out before children and before too much commitment).
When we get married, we make a massive commitment; to ourselves, to each other, to some deity (depending on belief system), to social norms, ...and so forth. Breaking that contract is not something that we would do lightly. But when people around us, especially if they are close, important people who we look up to and respect, when they divorce ...it becomes a little bit more acceptable.
I'm not sure that 'contagious' is the right word, but I can see and understand a connection.
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