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Hi All
Really not sure where to turn - need some advice
I split 6 years ago from ex wife, my girls then were 12, 8, 4 not my doing she wanted a change!! I made it as amicable as poss for kids sake.
I met my new wife a year later, we married last year.
My middle daughter was never really happy about my new relationship and caused a lot of problems in the early days with some horrible things she said to my partner, this manifested over the past few years with more lies about my partners daughter and also lies about them having a bad weekend when they come over.
This behaviour was dealt with each time and each time she apologised.
She stopped coming over a year a go stating she did not like our discipline and even took it to the point she did not come on the family holidays or come to our wedding.
I have been trying to contact her and finally managed to get a meeting at her school with her teacher as I desperately want her back in my life if she can get some help and we can move forward.
The problem is, my wife does not want anything to do with her and does not want her in the house after all the constant lying and the effect she has had on her 2 kids that live with us (13 &12) - I do get where she is coming from and I know how upset they have been especially her daughter who always seems to take the brunt of her lying (my daughters lying) Since she has stopped coming over, the weekends I have the kids have actually been a lot easier and the other 2 have really come out of their shell and there are no issues between the kids the balance just works.
But she is my daughter, she says she really misses me and wants a relationship with me, who knows if this is true, she was always one to tell me what I want to hear and she tried to blame the situation between us on why her school work was so bad. I cant bring her home, I have a feeling she just wants to only see me on her own, well that's what I get from my niece who talks to her. My time is very limited and even if I did say I will just see her on her own what about all the other kids? They will then think it is ok to kick off and cause loads of issues cos guess what they will then get their own dedicated Dad time!
I really don't know where to go with this and its really getting me down, I don't want to abandon her she is just a kid but I feel so stuck as to how to move forward with it all, its really eating me up,
Cheers
I would suggest you consider something like Relate, it might be best to go on your own the first time to see how they suggest taking it from there, but I'd discuss it with your wife before you go so she doesn't think you are plotting against her.