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This has been a question that's been bugging me for some time, it's probably been asked before a hundred times at least. How do you start over again?
To add some background to that question..... I was sure I had met "the one", I fell hopelessly in love (so much so I missed some major problems that friends and family saw quite clearly between us.) We had a child together, and everything felt right.
However things went wrong in a big way, she made accusations of affairs, she had an actual affair, it wasn't pleasant and between us we destroyed our child's family.
Since that point things have got worse and worse, she has accused me of all sorts, had the Police involved more times than I can count, and generally made my life a living [censored]. So much so I've wanted to just upsticks and leave, but I've fought through it, day by day, for the past few years..
Now I've met someone new, totally different to my ex in almost every way, we get on really well, she's always there for me when I've been through some really bad times. But, I can't let her in as I'm afraid of getting hurt again, I'm worried if she moves in she'll screw me over like my last 2 ex partners and try and take me to the cleaners, and I'm scared if we have kids that she may leave me and I may end up going through the same [censored] I'm going through now, and I simply can't do that again, to myself or another child.
So, back to my question, when you've been run through the mill several times (and my story is nothing different to almost anyone else on here,) how do you move on, and how do you know it's the right person.
I'd say go with your heart mate if you're happy then just roll with it but don't try to force it if it was men't to be it was men't to be, don't look to the past don't look to the future the only time you have to worry about is now.
Slim 🙂
Simple advice from me - let her in and take the risk you get hurt, or move on to someone else. Until you are willing to take that risk, you aren't going to find a good relationship.
I didn't quite go through what you have now with my divorce, in that I knew it was time to split, and it was only a matter of when. I was certainly willing to be hurt, and I was by my next girlfriend - not maliciously, but just because I thought she was the one, but it wasn't reciprocated, and it took me a while to realise that it wasn't right. It meant I learned what I was looking for in a relationship, so I grew as a result, and finally met the lady who became my wife. If I hadn't been prepared to be hurt, I'd probably still be single and lonely.