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my OH who used to be loving, caring, funny, intelligent and kind has become remorseless, uncaring, guiltless, gutless, bonkers and evil. she had an affair and said it was my fault (huh?). she then lied and denied until it was obvious (but my fault for looking for proof), now she has informed our child that we are breaking up without my consent (because i was "out" - er, well you could have asked me to come home...but its my fault i was "out", huh?).
any ideas on how to deal with a sociopath most welcome....and don't say, "get as far away as possible"...that doesn't help my son who i care for dearly, she is clearly not a good role model for him
any ideas guys?
Hi Strong,
Welcome to the forum.
What a great ex you have, seems she is just out to hurt you, like you said getting as far away as possible isn't an option as you have a child, I would suggest mediation though as a first step.
This may seem like a waste of time however if you are able to reach an agreement without having the additional stress of court then it will be worth it in the end, plus if you do have no choice but to go through court then the judge will 9 times out of 10 expect you both to try mediation first before they will make any fixed judgement.
Have there been any discussions yet about seeing your child and what is expected?
GTTS
initially she said it would be 50/50 access but now she is rolling back from that every time we have a dispute about something else..i am taking legal advice but i was looking for any advice on how to handle the sheer, downright lack of a duty of care she is showing to me and my kid
Hi There,
That is a really tough one, I had a controlling ex, if I stood up to her it made it worse, if I backed down it made it worse, like I said mediation would be the best place to start as a 3rd party in the room should hopefully promote some compromise.
What I would say though is start to document EVERY conversation, keep both sides, and include everything said no matter how nasty or vile, by being as exact about what was said as possible it will help you prove what happened and when if you do end up in court as you aren't having to think back to what was said, and by keeping what you have said as accurate as possible again no matter how nasty or vile, it will prove you are being honest about what was said and done between you.
Also keep all txt's emails ect so you have these to show as well, along with any other evidence you think would help if you end up in court.
Like I said though try and keep out of the courts if you can as it takes longer and causes more stress in the long term.
GTTS
thank you sir
Make absolutely sure she doesn't provoke you into doing or saying something that you wouldn't want to come up in court. Anything that makes her look bad works in your favour, but it goes both ways, so you need to make it easy for the court to rule in your favour if it gets there. Also, pick your battles wisely - if it's of no real consequence, then let it go, and save your strength and arguments for the ones that really matter.
Also, might be worth having a look at this: http://dadinfo.splittingup-putkidsfirst.org.uk/home
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