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I have been suffering from depression for over a year. It has been very influential in the break down of my relationship. It causes me to see negatives rather than positives and to misinterpret what the other person has said. This has been very draining for my partner. I often say things that are hurtful. These include:
You're determined to be unhappy
I can't please you
I always let people down
You are a bully
You just want to control me
It is the depression talking....I am undertaking therapy but I don't seem to be able to shift these thought patterns. I am working very hard with CBT to try to adapt my own thought processes and I feel that I have made progress
We are also seeing a relate counsellor because I threatened to break up. My partner is pregnant. I recently very nearly lost my job. At the moment we seem to be in a very bad place.
I would like to try Antidepressants. The problem is that the last time I suggested taking antidepressants (I actually got a prescription) my fiancee reacted very negatively. She cried, shouted at me and said that if I took mind altering drugs she did not know what she would do. She made me hand over the SSRIs and I never saw them again.
I have now been diagnosed with depression by 2 different GPs. Both have wanted to prescribe SSRIs. I genuinely believe they will be helpful. But I will have to take them in secret. Does anyone else have any experience of having to take medication in secret. I have a new job, I am about to become a father......how can I support my partner and child if I can't function on a mental level?
Mmm.... I dont like to ask but is your partner controlling? Does she prevent you from doing or make you do activities, tasks or jobs?
If your GP has said take them then Id suggest that you do and you may want to think about your partner accompanying you to the GP to discuss her fears.
Depression can be a real hurdle but it sounds like your going the right way about it with CBT and seeing your GP.
You need to discuss and educate your partner as the SSRI could be a great help.
Regards,
Dave
I did suggest that she come to the GP with me 6 months ago. She refused and said that I needed to take her feelings into account over this matter.
Is she controlling? That is a difficult one to answer. She is certainly very determined and wilful. She does not prevent me from doing things I want. However she does tend to dictate the ways that things are done around the house. If I do not do something in a certain way then I am not showing her adequate respect. Her anger at trivial things eg leaving a light on seems to be disproportionate.
Do as your doctors say. They are the professionals here and have probably seen the symptoms in others. Depression makes you feel as though you are the only person ever who has felt this way, but believe me your GP has probably seen more people in the same mental state of mind than you would care to know.
I was also diagnosed with depression and was prescribed antidepressants and from my experience, boy, what a difference they made in my life. It has improved every relationship, not only with my sons but also my current partner to family.
Not that I would want to be taking them all the time, but for now, best thing I could have ever done. I would say this for your partner, without knowing them at all, if they are concerned for your wellbeing and mental state, they should have no issues with you taking the medication under the supervision of your GP. You will be given a monthly prescription and will have to see your GP before renewal where you will be assessed. They do not always work and sometimes referral to a psychiatrist is required, but again this will be done by your GP.
If the GP has prescribed them then you must take them and your partner should see the advantages. If you can get her to attend the GP with you then great but she shouldnt be taking them off of you.
Regards,
Dave
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